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My Grama was denied enrollment to a day program so I can go to college. She never had the opportunity to decline in her cognitive abilities over time, she was hit by a car shortly after being diagnosed and that was that. Perhaps both a blessing to not have to deal with the heartbreak of knowing that your mind will be changing, and a curse because I've never really had the opportunity to make the progress as slow and little as possible.
Nonetheless, my mom works graveyard shift and needs the day to sleep, during the day I will be in class, and my brother is at work; we were really hoping to get her into a day program so she can not only socialize but have a better quality of life, all the while my mom gets the rest she needs, and I get my education. It's plausible to have an outside caregiver come while I am at school, but I really believe it would benefit her to socialize with others. Today she was denied admittance to a day program because she wasn't able to be redirected and she threw something at another patron. I'm hoping that the supervisor stays true to her word and contacts me in regards to programs that may accept her, but I just feel completely hopeless right now. Any wise words or similar stories would be very much appreciated. Thank you all for taking the time to read my question, take care

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I hope this information will be helpful to you. My father had Alzheimer's, and I went to the association in Des Moines and picked up every brochure they had. I was able to understand much more. Two very important things to know: It is best for the Alzheimer's patient to stay in the same place - not even to go out to eat. The largest penalty to changing places during a day occurs the next day. Very bad day after being taken out. Familiarity does not occur. They even forget who spouses and children are when you are right in front of them. Summary: Remaining in the same place is vital to the Alzheimer's patient. Second summary: Live their world using white lies. Do not try to refresh a memory. Causes great agitation to the patient. If discussing a relative, my father would frown and say he didn't think he knew that person. I'd reassure him by saying I don't think he ever met him. His frown would go away.
Is your grandmother expected to live 12 months or less? Inpatient hospice might be a choice and would be covered for expenses. Otherwise, it would be wise to line up family, relatives and friends to spend one day or one night a week with your gramma in your house. My Mom objected to having help, that it would upset my Dad, and I had to chuckle. I reminded her that we are new faces to Dad each day, and he would accept someone in the house just as easily. Remember special treats with milk, coffee or tea that will change her thoughts and make her happy. Music from her era will be a delight to her - they do not lose the ability to recognize their songs, and will often times sing along. A great support group to slip up time in the home is what you need. I hope you will be able to accomplish this! Prayers for your family!
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You have stated that you might be able to utilize an outside caregiver. Could you have the outside caregiver accompany her to an adult care facility? Maybe you can negotiate a lower rate with the facility because she has an aid with her. Maybe you can have Grama go for only a few hours. ADC facilities need to control the clients so I think we all can understand that too much confusion would upset everyone. Depending on how mobile Grama is the aid could also take her to a mall to sit and watch people etc. If Grama is too hard to redirect etc it may be that you have someone who just comes in to talk with her. I hope you are feeling better today....your intentions for everyone in your family are very honorable. !
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I am just now the sole caregiver for my Mom w/dementia, and we brought in a caregiver who she thinks is my friend, they have hit it off and she goes willingly with her to the park and "shopping". And when they stay in the house, they do puzzles, play games, or look at old photo albums.

Good luck
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Contact your State and your county and your local village or town. Aging Office; senior center. Someone can help you to get care.
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Most daycare places do not take Alzheimer patients, but I encountered someone by chance who runs an informal day care program at her home. I don't think it's licensed, but she claims that the employees she hires are RNs and LVNs. Since it's not licensed, they take only cash.
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