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This should not be done for staff convenience. If she is totally incontinent and can't be managed any other way it may be necessary, but if they just aren't staffed (or don't want ) to take her to the bathroom on a regular basis, I'd question it. People get dependent on pads when they wear them all the time. Also, it's hard to keep adult skin healthy.
Carol
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This should not be a problem.......partial incontinence is very common among all people after age 70. So. They often wear "paper panties" and change them frequently. so what. It becomes expensive, about ten dollars a week, but again ....so what. Wouldn't you rather have your loved one in a paper panty and be comfortable rather than have to rush to the bathroom when the need arises? What if he/she can't get there in time? Then they have to change the cotton panty. Just get used to it. Depends or the house brand, which I prefer, is the way to go.
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Working as a nurse in a nursing facility, it is good not only for cleanliness issues but also for dignity issues. We never refer to them as diapers or paper panties, we call them briefs, it sounds more like saying regular underwear and they aren't so self conscious and once they realize that their clothes are protected, as well as their skin from accidential or incontient issues, they understand that no one other then staff will know. I agree that if it is just for the convience of the staff and that they don't want to take the time with the residents, then you should think about checking into another facility. Also, I don't know a lot about medicare, but check into what they will cover.
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I see them as a blessing. Mom's otherwise great insurance won't cover incontinence aids, which is unfortunate, because it is a medical condition. They can become expensive for those whose needs are great. But the use of briefs is standard, and not just a convenience issue. Any thing that will help is a bonus. Just like women use "sanitary products" for monthly use, these are for those who have intermittent needs, and not be thought of as something bad or shameful. Better to prevent accidents, than to change clothing several times a day. Both men and women need the help, for some medical conditions, and it's better than the alternative. Often you'll see pads on furniture as well.
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Nursing homes do that all the time I would allow pull ups that can be changed often but if she is able to get help to the bathroom I would insist she use reg underware and just take a few extra one with her if it bothers her fight for her rights just because others stand for it does not mean you need to do it.
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All nursing home and facility do require there resident's to wear diapers. Some have the pull up type. There are women that are at the same assisting living place that mom is at that know when they have to go the bathroom, they have no problem. if you still feel bad about it took over your contract with the facility most of them state in the paper work that you signed even for the day care. don't feel bad about it at least mom is with a home at night.
patrica61
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My Dad was in a skilled nursing facility last year and he was perfectly able to go to the bathroom but was in a wheel chair. They would not take him when he had to go because they were short staffed!!! I honestly was with him my husband too and my Dad had to Poo he started to shake and cry and said I have to go to the bathroom I pushed him out near the area where some aides were and they said oh it's ok just go ahead and go it's alright...I was so upset I can't tell you this went on the whole time he was there we brought it up at a meeting and all they did nothing. We got him out of that place as soon as we could I honestly never thought he would be the same I was outraged. When I asked them to take him to the bathroom different times they said we will get to him when we can. This facility is rated one of the best in the area, I wouldn't take my cat to this place ever!!! You just don't know until you get in what really goes on in some places.
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The way I am interpreting the question is the *why* of a daycare using them. As Carol said - they should not be for the convenience of staff, and need to be changed immediately if the person has had an accident. I suggest that you check with them and ask specifically why - are they for preventing accidents that require floor / seat cleanup, or is the ratio between carers and daycare attendees too great to allow individual attention for bathroom breaks. A full adult diaper is a great way to come down with a UTI, rash, and is not comfortable.

On a personal note, my mom refers to them as "dorky things" and grugingly wears them "in case" on extended outings; she is proud that she redeveloped continence after a hospital stay and catheter left her incontinent. Although she has dementia she is still the lady she always was and exercises her right to a removable pad in her underwear with extras in the purse. I like Austins' comment - "fighting for her rights". I think that this is an issue we may face ourselves as we age - kegel exercises anyone?
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I never could understand though, why they would tell my Dad to go in his pants "it's alright" then when they would get to it change him. It seems to me that it was much easier to just take him when he said he had to go instead. They admitted they were short staffed his rights and his dignity didn't matter at all.
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Dear Micheleangel, that seems a great injustice and huge blow to your Dad's dignity. And a crying shame that they didn't listen to you, or try to make changes in policy. How sad for your Dad, and understandable why you would be upset. It's not right, to be sure. It's actually disgusting, and asking for trouble. I'm wondering if an Ombudsman should have been informed, and a report made and investigated. Definitely doesn't sound like a healthy policy, regardless of their staffing issues. Thank God he doesn't have to suffer at their hands any longer.
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I orginally posted the question. We just got back from the MD where we learned she has a UTI (the third since she began attending this day care facility). She is able to toilet herself at home and at another program she goes to one day a week. I, and the NP at the MD office feel if we start using the pads (or whatever you want to call them), it will be one less thing my mother will do independently. And if they are not taking her to the toilet enough now, what's to say they will not change a wet pad frequently enough to prevent a breakdown of skin. Someone suggested that if I "tip" the staff they will see to it she is toileted more frequently. It never occured to me to "grease someone's palm" to get the care she needs and is paying for.
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Dear caring44, what a horrendous thought to have to "bribe" someone to provide much needed care for your precious loved one. That was a terrible suggestion. Sorry to hear about your Mom's frequent UTIs, which can be serious, and lead to worse conditions. I would be asking for medical intervention and seeking preventative measures, to insure her welfare. Perhaps a "Care Quality Check" is in order? Sounds like the NP is on your side. Perhaps the facility's management needs to be, as well. Let us know how things work out.
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They can be a great help and the products keep improving. If the person really needs them (can't get to the bathroom reasonably often and needs frequent clothing changes) then pull-ups or other comfortable aids should be used. The two concerns are the health of the elder’s skin, so they can sit wet too long, and making them dependent on them if they don't really need them.

The flip side is that often people can't get the elder to wear them when they would be far more comfortable with them than having to have the embarrassment of wet clothes.

As with so many things, it's so individual. I'd work with the agency on this and determine the real need. What is best for the elder is what is important.

Carol
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My mother is home and she wears the pull up depends at night because it is very difficult to get her out of bed and to the bedside commode. In the morning the first thing I ask the caregiver to do is remove them and sit her on the bsc. She then either has a shower or they do a little freshening up until after breakfast. When she gets dresssed they put on a fresh depend just to be safe. She is not incontinent but it seems cleaner than a panty in case there some residue from using the bathroom. She does not void into it at all but knows that if she has to she can.
What's surprising about you experience is that when Mom was hospitalized after her stroke, the staff discouraged it. They either wanted her to get up - which was impossible or use the bedpan. The problem was that when Mom wanted to go it was usually immediatley if not sooner.
I too would have a problem if every time your Mom needed to use the bathroom they encouraged her to do it in the underpant. I agree that it takes away from their dignity if indeed they can be helped to the bsc. As a backup it's fine but not to make her one less patient to have deal with for bathroom needs.
Hope this helps!
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Hi Sister, We did all we could about the problem with this facility and never got anywhere!!! I reported them, I called meetings, I honestly ran out of fuel!!! My husband and myself tried it was very sad and I think about if often and thank God he is not there anymore. I do think about the ones that still are there, this place is rated as one of the best nursing homes, it's unbelievable to me.I have lived near this place for 20 years and they seem to have a lot of "pull" if you know what I mean in the community and even outside the area. When we had them investigated they did nothing no matter what we said they had an excuse, I hope some day someone will have to answer as to why they did this to him and others I'm sure.
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You just do it. Put on the paper panty and forget it. GO on with life. No discussion.
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I think the question is not being answered correctly, are they putting these products on the patients because they do not want to take them to the bathroom, or don't have staff or whatever. That is the question, The home my Dad was in was 6,000.00 per month, and they told him it was ok to poo in his diaper (what ever that's what it is) just because they didn't want to bother with him.I saw it with my own eyes!!! That is abuse in my opinion. He knew enough to tell them he had to go and they did nothing for him.
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When a person with dementia starts a habit they can continue with it. So if they are told to go in their pants, that could be hard to break when they are back in their "normal environment" as this was going on in a skilled fac. Then he was going back to his home. That was horrible to me, in no way should that go on. He was capable of telling them he had to go and no one would help him, how would anyone out there feel if that was you? I am not directing this to anyone in particular, just general.
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I know what is like when you say a person with dementia starts to do someting wrong it can become a bad habit for them. I went through that with mom. With hinding things and should would pee on her self. The kitchen sick would be filled of panites. Some times she had over 15 pairs on the clothes line in New York when she lived in New York. I did know what was going on until I started to smell the ordor. When she was placed in a nursing home up north she did not even know she was in a diaper. That was after many falls and I was here in Florida. I mentioned to the doctor about things I had notice, but it was too late when he listen.If you and stop something right away it would become a habit. Its was too late for me. Mom is in Florida now and in a clean assisting living. yes they put the diapers on them only for the ones that do have accidents. Yes there some places that don't change them but there are others that make sure they are clean and dry at all times. patrica61
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I am so glad your Mom is in a good place, yes there are some nice places still out there.
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