I have posted before that it's my mother. Now it's me. I am the senior. I have all my wits about me. Still working. My daughter who in her 30's is the problem. Just out of the blue she called us in June and let out a torrent of anger. She is mad that we didn't pay for her college education and that she had to work to put herself through college. She is also mad that when she was 8 yrs old I wouldn't buy her sidewalk chalk. She is mad that one day she came home from school and needed $10 and I wouldn't give it to her. You get the picture. Things that happened 20-30 yrs ago. So the problem is about 3 years ago husb and I redid our wills. We left an extra $70,000 to her and the house. The rest we left to husband's kids from another marriage. Now daughter won't let me see my grandchildren bc. I want to change my will and I have made an appt to see my atty. My question is do I really want to change the will to give all the grown kids an equal share instead of her an extra $70,000 and the house. If I change it do I want to give her a chance to come around and act better before I do this. Should I tell her that her behavior is really hurtful. All these things are for all time and eternity. Need your advice before I go to the lawyer.
As to her recent behavior -- is she in counseling? Maybe she is working through feelings from her past or long-simmering resentment. Maybe this is a sign of mental illness. Offer to go to counseling with her.
It is sad that you can't see the grandchildren. Let's hope Daughter works things through soon or gets the help she needs.
But I wouldn't tie the will to her behavior.
B, I'm fairly certain that your daughter is going through some emotional tumult right now. If you're so inclined, call her and lend as sympathetic an ear as you can. If you're not inclined, just leave it be and don't talk about it with others. Respect her privacy.
But no changing of wills based on behavior. As Jessie and Jeanne advise, if she has needs that outweigh those of the other children, set something up. But don't use a will as a blunt object.
Don't count on anyone to do the right thing. It rarely happens no matter who the people are. It's some kind of weird phenomenon.
Do all the adult kids know how the Will is currently set up? Are your husband's kids okay with this?
Is your daughter special needs and needs more in inheritance?
Do you and husband have reciprocal Wills?
Lots to consider. I'd discuss the implications with an attorney. Consider what you really think is best and why.
It's difficult to imagine a woman making those comments about how she was not afforded more financially growing up.
Is she jealous over something recent?
Are her student loans looming over her head?
I know that I put myself through college and graduate school and I'm super proud of it. It made me work harder and I leaned so much. Plus, I appreciate it so much more than some of my classmates did who had it handed to them. To verbally attack your parents over this years later??? Odd.
I can't figure out where her resentment is coming from. Maybe, she needs more than an inheritance.
Don't feel bad. I'm not sure why she's not grateful. To get an inheritance like that! My goodness. I can't imagine such a blessing.
Plus, I would never speak disrespectfully to my parents. No matter what my age is.
You sound like a thoughtful person. I'd follow my instincts.
Do you think it is post part depression if she has a little one under two. This is a very serious misunderstood condition that is rarely treated properly.
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