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I've read several posts that folks who are caregiving do not have the energy to date, and I agree. Is it that the energy is not there to date in general, or if you met someone whom you really, really liked would you still not have the energy to go out? In other words, would you turn down a date with someone if there was a lot of chemistry? My situation is that I'm not much interested in dating anymore, and I'm not sure if it is because of the stress of caregiving, or perhaps because I'm getting older in general, or a combination. I'm just trying to think ahead, as where I live, some of the local hotels will be having holiday singles dances in a couple of months, and I'm undecided if I will go. Would you have the energy to establish a new relationship with someone while caregiving? Would like to hear any opinions/thoughts from any single/divorced caregivers regarding dating?

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I do believe that it is possible to date and be a caregiver. I have a friend who is caring for her mother who started to date a widower who was taking care of his mother. His mother passed a few months ago and guess what? , They are getting married next weekend! At least the new spouse really understands what it takes to be a caregiver in their case. In addition to that I think dating while caregiving forces you to make some ME time and to get out of the house a bit as well as not have your every minute focused on caregiving. All very healthy things! Makes life a little more complicated but well worth the effort.
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I had a couple of dates recently. The only real problem was that I didn't like him. He was too aggressive. I guess he had bought into the idea that older women make better lovers because they are so grateful. Sheesh! Hands off, jerk. Thank goodness for cell phones so I could see if it was him that was calling. I think he's gotten the idea now that I'm not interested.

Anyway... I don't see any problem dating. I did have one other problem with relating, and it was me. Everything seemed so superficial. What I would really love to find is a man with a sweet spirit, instead of one that acts like a teenager.
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Gosh JB you had a date? I would just love to go on a date as long as he looks like a man would be fine for now!!!
Have got so lost in all this that I cant imagine what id talk about on a date my mum? what I do all day? why my belly is so big? I need to get back flirting I used to be so good at it!
Only slight problem I don't go out to meet anyone unless hes in the local store how do you meet someone.
I think in US the americans are quite forward which I think is great the men are very confident at asking women out gosh youre so lucky here they have to a skinfull of drink to even look your way!
Waiting to hear if any of you agree with me especially captain! LOL
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This is a great discussion! I am a single parent and I also am a caregiver of my grandpa. I often get tired and worn out and I used to be a go go party girl before the caregiving "business". Went out to karaoke bars and dance clubs. When you are in the position where it requires a lot of physical and mental stamina, you want to get some R & R often. And dating and starting new relationship you need energy for that as well. All I can do at the moment is dream about a relationship when I'm sleeping and recharging my batteries.
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Im not asking for much:kind,caring,intelligent,romantic,fun,young at heart,a job,likes the simple things in life,travel,spritual,great sense of humour,loves my cat,loves animals,outdoors,nature and dosnt take life seriously!!!!!

If you find him send him over here ill pay his fare!
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Oh, no! If I find that man I am keeping him. :D
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Oh gee, Kazzaa - that describes my man to a T :-) but I am keeping him!
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You know, I actually found the perfect man -- a widower. He and I get along so well. We talk easily and enjoy playing games together. I enjoy being with him very much. The trouble is that he is 82 and not in the best health. Sometimes we kid and I tell him if I was older or he was younger we could get married. And you know, it's true.
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jessie - I never worry about age. G is 13 yrs younger than me - my ex was 16 yr younger. Always seems to be that way for me. I think it is the relationship that counts. We enjoy being together very much too.
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So Captain, you want a girl who likes to share experiences with you, an outdoor type, who is fit and appreciates the simple things in life! There you go , half your online profile written for you already :) !
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JB take note of Emjo there is still hope for us!!
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JB come to Ireland and ill find you a nice Irish man!
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My mum used to say "im so tired even if LIAM NEESON was at the door to bring me on a date Id refuse!" NOW i understand id need at least a weeks sleep before id even think about going on a date.
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On a positive note though the guy in the local grocery shop is very flirty with me which makes my day,wk,month,year? Im 48yrs old hes 19!!!!!!!!!!! not bad eh? hope when im 70yrs old the 30 yr olds will still flirt with me! LOL
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I loved the online dating thingy. You can flirt to your hearts desire while home in your flannel PJ's and no one is the wiser. So many men so little time! A little flirting does a girl good! It's wonderful to feel desirable. M and I met online 7 years ago and the rest is history!
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online is great, though there are some real bad ones. I agree it is wonderful to feel desirable and it is where I met G.
@kazzaa - have fun flirting - keeps you in practice - would you believe before I met G a 23 yr old was after me - and I mean after me - 50 years younger!!! I met him a couple of times - he wanted a relationship. I told him to find a young woman his age, get married and have some babies. Actually he was a decent young man and nicer than some of the 50 yr olds I met on line and in person. But of course the age difference was too much. I do have my limits. The world is your oyster!
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@ emjo,
i think that teachers are by habit, controlling. id not do well with that as controlling me would be akin to lassoeing a locomotive.
just funnin with you..
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@ cap - not a teacher - an instructor of adults - different game... First concern in a classroom of adults is building a relationship, establishing your credibility - and showing people you respect them as individuals, including the ones in black leather, with lots of hardware, on drugs, and so on. No one is trying to lasso locomotives. They're gonna go where they're gonna go anyway. The world is your oyster too, cap.
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lassoeing a locomotive still paints a hilarious mental image tho. lol. 2 of my posts were erased. whoever narced out those posts probably needs to learn to laugh. elders like ourselves steaming up the car windows? offensive??
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