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he is all stooped over, he is so thin, he was so intelligent, now he is disorganized, he uses oxygen to breath. He has Copd, heart problems, can not walk with out the aid of a walker, and now dysphagia.

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I have the same issues with my Mom.

It isn't the physical changes so much as the mental. This woman had the sharpest mind. Well educated, well read. Did her own stock portfolio, and had her hands into some of everything. Now, she doesn't not even remember that her husband died 3 months ago. Cannot recall where her socks are. But, also cannot seem to learn either.

It is hard for me. She was so bright.

She is still a wonderful person. Cheerful, easy going. A pleasure to be around. For me..it is just that I knew her before....now she is a lost soul.
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Dragoness, we all change over the years. Example, you are no longer that 10 year old kid who was doing their homework in their bedroom or on the dining room table. Yet as you got older, graduated from school, maybe got married, maybe had children, and now is middle age, your Dad adjusted to all the changes in your life.

Try to think of Dad being the same person inside, even though his memory might not be up to par. He may be stooped over, but when sitting on the sofa, he's not. If he wears a heavy sweater he's doesn't look so thin. You can't see his COPD nor his heart problems.

You try out Dad's walker, I did with my Dad's rolling walker and found it fun to use, the seat on it was pretty comfortable, no wonder my Dad thought it was the best thing since sliced bread :)
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He is still your daddy, and always will be.
Seeing him like that is agonizing, I've been there.
How do you deal with it? Different for different people, maybe a support group would help you. Life throws us so many curve balls. Good luck.
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