Dad with Parkinson's is suddenly almost unresponsive. Advice?

Thank you everyone for your caring comments. It is with a very heavy heart that I tell you that my Dad passed away on April 17th. He never did make a recovery. He just refused to eat or drink. I feel very strongly that he had just given up the battle with the Parkinson's. He was tired of fighting, and his body was giving out on him. It still hurts. I questioned and questioned every one of my decisions, but I think in the end I did the right thing by placing him in a wonderful hospice. It was a beautiful place, he was well cared for, and he passed very peacefully when he was ready. (He waited until his brother and sister were able to make it here from Florida, then passed less than half an hour later). So, once again, thank you for your advice and help. You are all wonderful!

Actually, Pam, the "Hospitalist" (doctor who works only at the hospital--no outside practice) was the one telling me that my Dad is 85 with Parkinson's and to let him go. Now that my Dad is in Rehab, those people are saying that he is not dying, and that I should take a deep breath and give him time. They said that his color is good and he is simply sick with a possible UTI (still waiting on test results) and a head cold, and that an elderly person with a UTI will be confused and violent and unresponsive. Today, they counseled me to wait to put him into hospice because they believe that as soon as he begins treatment for a UTI (which they are certain that he has--don't know why they are so certain) he will begin to improve. The "Hell Yeah" means he wants to live. He has not been an "active guy" in over seven years. He is able to do very little. Still, he has repeatedly assured me that he wanted to live under any circumstances EXCEPT a permanent feeding tube.

Cwillie, before the pneumonia, my Dad was doing fine for someone with late-stage Parkinson's. He was eating, drinking, talking (he talks very softly and broken with the Parkinson's), watching TV and enjoying the attention from the aides at the Assisted Living where he and my Mom live. I saw him on Thursday afternoon two weeks ago. He seemed extra tired, but still eating and functioning. By Friday afternoon, he had started to run a fever, and by Saturday, he was refusing to eat, drink, open his eyes--everything that he is doing now. HOWEVER, after being the hospital for a few days with IV antibiotics he showed a great deal of improvement--back to his old self. The hospital transferred him to a local Rehab/Nursing Home for rehab. After three days there, he began to show the same signs he showed the first couple days in the hospital--no eating, no drinking, striking out at the aides (something he has NEVER done before this), spitting his food and pills out at them, not opening his eyes.

He may indeed be ready to pass on. I just don't know. And, no Pam, I have never witnessed a resuscitation. All I know is that my Dad made it clear over and over again that he wanted EVERYTHING done to keep him alive. It may be beneficial to know that he does not now nor ever has had any kind of heart trouble, nor has anyone in his family. His relatives have all died of cancer.

Thank you so much Pam. I hope he recovers as well, but I'm not holding out a lot of hope anymore.

jrectenwald, OK, the hospital is telling you he is terminal. If you have ever witnessed a resuscitation, it can be a form of torture. The paddles can leave burn marks, ribs fracture during chest compressions. Intubation is not fun either. "H* ll Yeah" means he still wants to have fun, he was an active guy. If you believe in God and Heaven, ask your angels to guide you.

My heart goes out to you, JR, you are a loyal person to uphold what he wants. I hope and pray that after the UTI treatment you will see the improvement you both want to have. God Bless.

jr - it is all you can do, it seems. Wait in the test results and possible subsequent treatment. I agree you have to follow your dad's wishes regardless of what the hospitalist says. It is a very difficult situation and I wish you and your dad all the best. it must have been scary to see him unresponsive after doing so well. (((((((hugs))))))

Thank you, emjo, for the hugs. I can use them. This entire experience is scary. I often feel like I have an axe hanging over my head waiting to drop at any moment. It helps to talk about it.

Oh, yeah. I guess you're right. It's late here. I was just thinking maybe he's constipated.

Hugs to you, jrectenwald. What a tough situation to be in. I agree that you should follow what you know to be your father's wishes.

Just about anything could happen next. I hope additional treatment for a UTI will resolve the entire issue. Know that you are doing the best you can, whatever happens.

jrectenwald, please accept my condolences on the death of your dear father.