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I have heard some caregiver stories about this. The one that really stands out in my mind is a man that absolutely refused to shower. The caregiver finally decided to try something very unusual one day that actually worked extremely well and she still uses it. Since he often reminisced about his time in the service she decided to tell him that the commander was going to be doing inspection at 0800 hours and he better be ready. Yup, it actually worked. So,find something from his younger years that would make it important for him to cleanup for, whether it is inspection, a date with a pretty girl, grandchildren coming over, a job interview, whatever. Don't give up, be patient and you will figure out something.
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His MD can send out an occupational therapist (OT) who will look over the bathroom and show you where to put grab rails and a shower chair. A hand held shower is recommended. Tell dad to put on just a robe and get him seated so you can wash his legs and arms. Then gently wash his hair. By now the robe is wet, so slide it down a little to his waist and scrub his back, let him do his chest and arms, but keep the private parts all covered up. Cover him with a LARGE dry towel across the shoulders, another across his lap for modesty and ease him out of the tub. Let him re-dress in clean clothes or have a second robe handy. Play his favorite music too. Sing along.
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We have had some LONG discussions about this. You can't win a power struggle. Try to ease him into the idea, by suggesting that you yourself need a bath, for example. Get him close to the bathroom and turn on the shower so he can hear it.

Try to figure out what he dislikes about bathing. Is he afraid of falling? Is the room too cold and the water too hot?

Pumpkin, how can she take a shower if she is going to end up breaking her neck? Can she come to your house? Can you get one of those transfer chairs that will let her sit down outside the tub and slide across? She needs a hand-held sprayer.

I was going to suggest using the search bar at the upper right to find some of the brilliant suggestions that have come up in the past.
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Cont,
If your Father hasn't had a bath in a while.You need to let him know how long it's been since he has a bath.Mark it down on his calendar each time he has a bath so he can see for his self how long it's been.
Depends on your Father's condition?Can he bathe his self or not?If he can give his self a bird bath.Tell him to wash his own privates when he desires.My best advice to you is to get a visiting nurce to bathe him if he won't let you do it.What is his reason why he don't want to take a bath?Gotta be a reason why?I'm trying to answer or give you advise but,without more information it's a loss cause attempting.
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Glad had a good idea about telling him a story. Mom did not mind a sponge bath in fact I think she liked because I always washed her back. I had a hard time convincing Mom to have the asst. nurse to give her a bath when she came here. I told her that the girl had come all the way here and if she did not take a bath the asst would not get paid. By the way the don't always realize they are smelly or dirty. It would be better if we knew more about his health.
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My mom has moderate dementia. She lives by herself, and goes to Adult Day Services 5 days a week. My mom refuses to take a shower. She takes sponge baths on her own. I wash her hair in the sink with a hose sprayer about three times a week. The bathtub at her house is an old fashioned bathtub which isn't the best for seniors. It is a big bathtub and it is not handicapped accessible. I know that she should have a shower at least once or twice a week. I am not sure what to do about convincing her to take a shower?
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My mom,has dementia.She,only sponge bathes.As,long as there's no odor.
One;day I had to tell her,to use scented body wash&use throughly. I,have to tell her,to put different outfit on,every couple of days.She,used to get upset.Now;she says,just tell her,when.
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However;you never know,some days,it's"I,don't go anywhere,why should I change"
I,tell her,she has so many pretty sweaters,it would be a nice change.
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Could it be possible that your father maybe shy or very uncomfortable in the thought of having his own kids giving him a bath or seeing his private parts?I'm a father I know I would be very uncomfortable having my kids see my parts lol.
Have you tried a non family member or one of your father's friends?But,I don't think I would want my friend seeing my parts either lol.My quess is,he needs a private nurce for his private parts lol if that's his problem.
If showing his private parts isn't the issue.Have you tried giving him a simple bird bath with a wash cloth,soap & water?Start by baby steps so to speak.It's only a little soap & water.Can't make to big of a mess with a wash cloth and a bowl of soap & water to start with.I would simple start right where he seats or bed's.Give him a wash right now.No need to go to the bathroom.If you get any water on the floor get a carpet shampooer later to clean the floor.Or to be a little funny,dump a warm buget of soap & water over his head and say sorry Dad I dropped it.I'll clean you up lol.There's your chance to give him his bath lol.Sorry,I don't mean to be silly about your problems just cutting the rug so to speak.
Your Father maybe use to his smell.He may not smell or see what you see or smell.Not saying your Dad smells just explaining the best I can is all.You think he needs a bath and he don't think so.If all else fails make he smell so he knows he needs a bath.Sometimes you gotta do things you don't want to do inorder to get things done.If all else fails for you?Go to the grocery store and buy a block of limburger cheese.Cut it in half and place one under his bed,other under where he seats.That limburger cheese has a smell you will never forget.The longer it seats the stronger it gets.Smells just like you know what.A great idea for a friend giving ya problems.Sneak a piece of limburger cheese under his car seat.Lol.
Best,
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My 96 year old dad will not bathe. I bought him some wipes that he can use himself from an online store (parent giving) and they work fine, at least to keep him from smelling too bad. He is not aware of his own smell and my mother has dementia and is used to it.
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