Dad wants to move back to Texas but Mom doesn't. Is a "gray divorce" on the horizon? We just moved them into IL to give Mom a break.

So sorry you are going through such a difficult time! It is so difficult dealing with a parent that has dementia/ALZ and makes you feel helpless. It sounds as though your dad is agitated and fixated on going back to Texas. May I ask if he is on any type of anti-depression/anxiety medication? We went through a terrible time with my mom 2 years ago when we moved her from a duplex at an independent senior facility to an apartment, where she could have dinner daily, company, activities and housekeeping services. She has always been somewhat of a "half empty" type of person, but she was furious, relentless about "going back" and even called her attorney on us! We had been taking mom to a geriatrician for several years and she felt that mom was depressed and getting on a low dose of medication might really help her adjust. It was like a godsend - took several weeks but she became much more reasonable and easy to deal with. Even though she would still bring up moving, we would just hear her out, and say we would look into it. Within a year, she was telling everyone she knew how wonderful this place was and "that's why I wanted to move here". We would just smile and agree......If nothing else I have learned to never argue or try to correct their thinking, agree, paraphrase what they are saying,validate their feelings, and re-direct. When she would say she was moving, I would say "Oh, ok" and change the subject. When she wanted the number of the moving company, I would say, "I'm not sure, I don't have it...we will have to look into that." Best of luck to you!

Dad may be wanting to "go back" to a happier, better time than where he is now.  Not rational, for sure.  Good that you are alert to protecting Mom.  The train has left the station on his old life in Texas; even if he did manage to get to Texas, he would not be happy or competent to set up daily life there. Can a geriatric doctor prescribe medications that would help him adjust to current realities?  Keep protecting your Mom.  Be very careful of the issues involved in gray divorce. Can get very complicated with possible Medicaid in the future.