My dad is a "downwardly mobile" product of the 60s -70s. He is now 76, and after two rounds of chemotherapy, is unable to pass the Wisconsin winters at his place which does not have indoor plumbing and only wood for heat. This lifestyle was fine for 45-50 years, but it's too much in the winter. My dad spent about a year in 2015, and then the winter of 2016-17 with my husband and I, but we live in a small house, and while we don't have kids, we no longer have private space for ourselves, dad NEVER goes anywhere, and we are pretty much at each other's throats all winter. My dad expects to stay again. I'm not sure if he's filled out the application for senior apartments near his home, and I don't think it occurs to him that his presence is hard for us. I'm not sure what to do. I feel like I have to choose between my husband and father. My husband has been angry and stressed out by the prospects of dad moving in again. I feel trapped. When dad lives here I tend to drink too much and do too much shopping as an escape, neither of which are good. I'm also an only child, and my parents are divorced.