Our Dad lives independently with some assist but struggles with his shower. Any tips?

A lot of seniors find it be too much trouble to get everything ready, get the water temperature right, get undressed, get into and out of the tub and get dried off and dressed all by themselves. We do it without thinking, but it is work to them. So they put it off until tomorrow and sometimes tomorrow again. Also sometimes, it's hard to step into the tub, painful to stand for the length of time (use a shower or transfer bench), maybe the shower head isn't conveniently placed, maybe the faucet is too difficult to adjust to get the water "just right". Maybe they're afraid of falling either in the tub or out. Maybe it's hard to get the bathroom warm enough.

All that is to say that there are a bunch of reasons why your dad may be having trouble taking a shower. Spend a little time assisting him and see for yourself what is the trouble and try to fix it. Screw grab bars onto the walls where he needs to stabilize himself. Good luck. Bathing is a big issue with elderly.

I realize your problem I took 24/7 care of my wife in all aspects of her hygiene needs. I had a chair in the tub, grab bars on all sides, a shower hose connected, and I also had a company that specializes in cutting out a section of the tub so that a person can step into the tub as if in a shower stall. With all of these changes, it was easy for me and my wife to have her take her showers and sit comfortably while doing it. Even though you are a male, there should be no shame or embarrassment to assist your wife. We had been married 666 years but unfortunately, she "passed" in May of 2014.

Good Luck,

Sonny M.

Remember his fears are all so real and not uncommon, also be prepared to lower your standards of hygiene, not saying that you are not, but many close family members have a difficult time with this. The first challenge is to remember if he has had a shower, and if he needs one. A journal in the bathroom helps with this, and picking a constant time for showering. The next challenge is his fears. He will fear forgetting to do something and cause injury, slipping, falling, getting burned, ETC... Make sure all safety bars are installed, a steady chair with good access to shower head and knobs. Constant reminders to rinse shower pan before standing to make sure all soap causing a slippery surface is removed, and to make sure all soap is off his hands, and hands are dry, keep a towel in easy reach for this. Many will opt out of an outside person to help. What may work, is to ask him to take a shower a few times with a family member present wearing underwear/boxer shorts a few times to be able to first help to get over fears. He may then be able to shower on his own, or with outside assistance. Please be cautious hiring outside, I have found that many through the agencies are not trained, but say they are, and are careless in the shower area.

Ask his doctor to order a bath aide once a week.

See if you can figure out what the difficulties are; there may be some great ADL equipment to make his showers easier.

Can you be more specific on what his struggles are so we can better advise?

make sure bathroom is warm and having a shower w/ a hand held shower wand/nozzle and a shower chair will make things easier. we also got a shower mitt that can be lathered up which might be easier then a wash cloth to hold depending on his struggles. if it is just mental struggles-we mark it on a calendar and make sure he can see he takes a shower every week on a certain day and cat bath when he needs it during the week.

My mother is very unsteady on her feet and uses a rollator to walk. I got a shower chair from the local senior center for her. They have a supply of donated aids for seniors, and I just signed out this chair. Part of it extends outside the tub, so she can sit down on it and swing her legs into the tub, then reverse the process to get out. Works great for her.

Samara, over the years we have traveled with my MIL a lot. I find that there is a WIDE variance in what hotels/motels call a handicapped accessible bathroom. Some are nothing more than handgrips installed on the wall and some are just great with fold down benches, handheld shower heads, bathroom heaters, raised toilets. There is no consistency. I'm also amazed that such rooms are ALWAYS on the upper level floors. How in the heck are we supposed to evacuate the room in case of fire? Cannot use the elevators. Wheelchairs and walkers down several flights of stairs??? Really?? So far, so good, but still I worry. I wish more thought went into design for the elderly.

Now I'll get off my soapbox, sorry.

Jumping back to Sonny's comment- the Safeway tub people can cut out the tub wall for easy entry- pretty inexpensive. They also have a version with a door for the hole so it can still be used as a tub. The "walk-in" tubs that are being advertised can be very expensive but the choices above are much more reasonable.