Dad (93) still has his checkbook & gives money he can't afford to my leeching brother. I am POA, can I take my Dad's checkbook?

I did wonder.

Your father is 93. Your brother is dependent on him. When your father passes away, which in all probability he will do long before your brother does, what do you expect to happen to this leeching person, as you describe him?

No more coddling, that's for sure. But then, what?

If your father has not already given this thought and made his wishes clear, encourage him to do so. It might be no bad thing, too, to establish communication now with your brother's support network for future reference. Your brother is currently free to refuse disability benefits but he soon enough won't be; and you'll find his situation less stressful if you're ready for it.

If your father is of sound mind and has not been diagnosed with full on dementia or Alzhiemers...then NO you can not take his checkbook away, without your father's permission.

Even if your father was diagnosed with mild dementia or some cognitive impairment, the courts may still decide he is capable of giving money to his son, if he so wishes.

It is not easy to have someone declared mentally incompetent by a court and perhaps there is a good reason for that.

Lastly, if your brother has been officially diagnosed with Aspergers/autism, and he is refusing disability checks, perhaps it might be wise to talk to an attorney.

Perhaps it would be easier to have your brother declared incompetent and then he will be forced to accept disability.

Many excellent answers. I agree that the sooner you start dealing with the bigger picture i.e. your autistic brother and his dependence upon your dad - the better. If your dad truly is competent, then he would see the value in making arrangements for his autistic son.

Just handing over money every month is not a plan nor is it sustainable when you are paying half your dad's rent. You are helping to support your father and planning for the future is a reasonable expectation any POA should have. If you have enough money to pay half your dad's rent then you have enough money to hire an elder law or family law attorney to help you sort out this situation. Take your dad along with you for a consultation. If your father fails to comprehend things the lawyer is explaining, that's a red flag. And again, it's better to deal with such problems head on when arrangements still can be made.

Try looking at the entire financial picture.
If Dad can pay his own rent, the money you add for "other" will be more in your control. Activate the POA.
Have a talk with Dad about brother's future.
A person with aspergers is challenged in the area of finances. Throwing money at the problem will not work.

I just read that once a person has exhausted all $$$ , medicaide pays for their housing . Not sure if that means they would have to move into a certain place that Medicaid a proves or that Medicaid will take over monthly rent of the nursing home where they already are living . In my opinion , it would be a good idea to know up front if a facility accepts Medicaid before moving a loved one in. Just a thought.

My sister, who has early onset Alzheimer's, made me her PoA, put me on her checking account, and even got an attorney to make up new PoA, Will, Living Will. She did this when she was still able to think things through. However, not long ago, because she doesn't handle financial situations well, I suggested I keep her checkbook and write checks for her. She could keep as much cash as she wanted. She was fine with that, but when I next visited her in her assisted living facility, she demanded her checkbook back and had told the manager of the assisted living facility that I had taken it from her. That led to the manager telling me I could be accused of elder abuse, which really upset me. The manager also said that she would only deal with my sister, not me, as SHE felt my sister was fine and could handle her own affairs. That is true only to a point. I asked my attorney about that and he replied that I have full power to handle any and all my sister's affairs and that if I ran into any other problems, have the manager at the assisted living facility call him. That felt good! So far I haven't followed through and my sister still has her checkbook, but now I have someone I can get some support from.