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He is 94, has dementia, frail but stable medically. He is blind, can walk. I work part time as a nurse and we have other caregivers come in when I am gone. He misses his home and family/friends back in Michigan. I am afraid to take him back for visit. The plane ride get to my home in Oregon (2and1/2 years ago) was somewhat harrowing, but he doesn't remember that. I am afraid that if he doesn't get up he will lose his ability to get up. He also has a brother in Texas and an uncle in Florida that would be fun to visit, but I'm not sure I could manage all of that. I am 71 and it makes me tired to think about it.

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If your dad has begun to refuse to get out of bed could it be that you're at the point where he has already lost the ability to get up?

And if your dad is refusing to get out of bed a trip to visit family by plane is probably not doable anymore.

He's 94. He's tired. He has dementia. Maybe he's just run out of steam. At his age it's bound to happen eventually. This could be the new normal for him and for you.
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Yes, of course I have thought that he is just winding down. But I think more that he just has nothing to get out of bed for. He has the talking books, and he converses with the care-givers. I have tried to get him counselling thru the vets, but they didn't seem to know what he was there for.
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Avoid airplane travel entirely. The fluctuations in cabin pressure will knock him for a loop. Moving from place to place and any travel over an hour is very hard on their mental map, which is getting smaller . Talk to the MD about damage from long flights, it can trigger a permanent decline.
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