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He always wants to be be buried in national cemetery but she died and we have no idea what she did with his ahes (even funeral director was upset how fast he was creamated.. we were very close to him and never saw him in my family home again. Can he have a plot anyway at the cemetery for him and my deceased mom? And he was too proud to get his war medals can I still get them for my son?

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Here is a link to the VA cemetery that came up when I searched for the one for your area. Call them and get advice on what you will need to do.

https://www.cem.va.gov/cems/nchp/abrahamlincoln.asp
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Buglet1 Jan 2021
Thank you!! Thank You!! So nice to help me find answers. Thanks you
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Sorry, I am so confused about this situation.

Let me see if I have this right. Your Mom had passed away, and your Dad had remarried, correct?

Your Dad's new wife had murdered him, and she had him cremated, correct? So sorry about that happening.

Your step-Mother had passed, and you have no idea where Dad's ashes are located, correct?

What did the police report say regarding this situation? If your step-Mother was involved with a murder, I can't understand why the medical examiner would hand over your Dad to her, instead of the next next-of-kin?

I assume that your Mom was cremated and not buried, correct? But if she was buried, you would need a Court Order to remove her from that grave site to be buried at a National Cemetery, and that process can be expensive.

Hope everything works out for you.
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Riverdale Jan 2021
Great detective effort.
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I am confused. Can you explain your situation a bit more.

If you don’t have ashes then what will you bury?

I am so sorry for the loss of your father.
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Follow 97YearOldMom's advice; you'll need to contact the VA to find out what might be done, but if the ashes are missing, there's nothing to bury.  What does the funeral director have to say about the company that handled the cremation?   You should contact them to find out how his ashes were distributed (or not).

I believe qualifications for burial in VA cemeteries arises from service, so you'll need to find his service documents as well, specifically his DD 214 which provides dates of service.
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Buglet1 Jan 2021
I can get his service docs ( I might have them)
All I know us the funeral director (there was no funeral) called me out of nowhere( he knew my step mom not me) and he said he was so sorry how things were handled with my dad. So that sent up red flags. She did get the ashes and she was a cruel person so who knows.
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Call your local VA office and ask where the nearest National Cemetery is and who oversees it. For ex: We have a National Cemetery here in SJersey but its overseen by Ft Washington in PA. Then call the people who oversee it and ask if Mom can be buried there and then Dad when the ashes are found. The plaque can have both names on it. I have seen where the wife dies first and then husband. This is all free. You pay nothing. The plot, the plaque and a Military is free. I have heard that local VA cemetaries may charge for opening the plot.

Where was the wife buried if so? I knew a woman who buried her Moms ashes under the bird feeder. Her husbands were in a filing cabinet under B, first letter of his first name. Maybe ask the funeral director if he has any idea where Dads ashes may have been put. Cemeterys do provide places for Urns.

When talking to the VA ask the rep if you can get Dads medals. Medals have been awarded after death.
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Buglet1 Jan 2021
Thank You, my step mom took wherever his ashes are to her grave.. she left from Indiana to Texas ASAP and her daughters have no idea. We live very close to Abraham Lincoln National cemetery and I will call about the medals.
Thank you
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Please help me
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At our National Cemetery, its small, u have to be cremated. I think it was mentioned here, that others allow caskets.
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worriedinCali Jan 2021
Most allow caskets including the one closest to the OP.
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