Dad passed away after 4 years in assisted living. How do I let go from my daily visits?

find a hobby to substitute what you did during visits to dad to help your grieving process.

Seems your dad has recently died, so you are still mentally in familiar routine. After my mother died, I often thought about calling her to check up. It took several months before my thinking adjusted. Still sometimes, I think of things she would've liked to hear and then realize she cannot hear these things anymore. My mother died 15 years ago. Your parent will always be in your thoughts!

I'm so sorry for your loss. It will take some time before the pain starts to ease a little, though it never goes away.

I am so sorry for your loss. Time is the only thing I can tell you and it takes along time for the grief it never goes away but, it is less in time.

I am sorry to hear that your Dad passed, you have to be gentle on yourself now and realize that your routine was a gift to be able to spend quality time with each other. And so you will probably still be checking back when you are distracted. I would do something like leave a plant there for the others and when you find that you want to go or accidentally turn up you just water the plant and greet the staff or residents. Be strong, hug someone today and thank God for his life. And maybe you could start yoga or some activity at the same time for a while.

Sorry about your loss. It is a normal part of the grieving process and the thoughts will fade away in time. I wouldn't try to force it. Even three years after my son died, I saw a young man, who resembled my son, in a car with another province's license plates. My first very quick thought was "Oh that's where he has been all this time." followed by releasing it wasn't him at all and this was one of those brain tricks, . For the first year I had a hard time in the grocery store seeing the foods I would have bought for him. Once in a while now, 16 years later, something can still trigger the grief. Be kind to yourself. Grief is a difficult journey. (((((hugs))))

So sorry for your loss! You are correct, that what you are going through is part of the grieving process. I would suggest maybe doing something you and your dad liked to do together when you feel the urge to go visit him, or look at pictures of fun times you guys had together? That's what I do when I miss my dad.

Just talk with your friends about your good memories of your dad. It’ll take time for you to heal.

I was in same situation when my uncle passed away six months ago. I was super close with him and his caretaker as well. I visited like you did. My uncle was still able to go out to bingo and the casino also. I put so much of my stuff behind I'm just starting to catch up things I put off. I also volunteered with a fundraiser which kept me super busy. The fundraiser is over and I am taking a break to get caught up but I will find something else to keep me busy. I'm in grief counseling and for now I try not to drive by the nursing home or hospital. It's really hard for me bc he was going home from hospital then he got mrsa in hospital which I feel they could have got antibiotics sooner than what they did. So the more I accept he is gone the more I realize he's not waiting for me anymore. It's hard but time will take the habit away.

Your dad must have been a good Dad for you to miss him so much.

Whenever you miss him, it might help to remind yourself that he is likely surrounded by the relatives and friends that he knew, when he was young and healthy.

When my grandfather died, I was standing in front of his coffin and suddenly, but briefly, it seemed as if a window opened over the coffin and I saw images of my grandfather and grandmother in their 20s.

Inside the window they were running in a beautiful field chasing each other like children and when they each caught the other they would hug and kiss, and then the image disappeared.

I like to believe that image was glimpse into the afterworld that my grandfather gave me as a gift, rather than simply my imagination.

The fact that they looked young sort of clinched it for me, because I only saw one photograph of them in their youth and they were both well into their 50s, when I was born.

I always remember this window glimpse and it gives me comfort.

For the past two years my MIL has been in a nursing home and my husband insists on visiting here practically every day. I don't think this is necessary at all. So tired of this routine.