Dad can no longer manage his 14 year old Dachshund that is messing indoors several times a day. He has a second, much younger dog that is well behaved. He does not care that his apartment in the assisted living facility smells like a kennel nor that no one will come to visit him any longer. The facility cleans the carpets frequently and is unhappy with the situation but will not make the ultimatum that would allow me to make the move to put the dog down & I cannot bring myself to be the grim reaper without some backing. I am the only child that is in contact with dad. Caregiver guilt is paralyzing me. We went together to the Veterinarian last spring. The Vet explained how the dog is blind & not aware enough to control himself & that it would be kindest to put him down. Dad would hear none of that. Dad has no outside contact with the world except me & I don't want to destroy our fragile relationship. What advice can you offer me on how to do anything but walk in & take the dog away while dad isn't there?
Dad is a 5 year pancreatic cancer survivor who lost his wife just months after his final treatments. He descended into drinking himself into a stupor every day & I had to remove him from his home, commit him to be detoxed & then moved into this assisted living facility. They have been nothing short of wonderful there & have offered to include him in all sorts of field trips and activities. Unless there is alcohol involved, he brushes it all off. He is completely apathetic on all levels. It pains me to watch him throw away the gift of life with both hands. He has nothing to say to me & I regret that I am running out of things to talk about in one sided conversations. He is on an anti depressant but it does not seem to help. His MD will not prescribe counseling unless dad asks for it. That won't happen.
I know what needs to be done, I just don't know how to accomplish it short of kidnapping the dog. Dad will never forgive me.
Thank you for listening.