Dad can no longer manage his 14 year old Dachshund that is messing indoors several times a day. He has a second, much younger dog that is well behaved. He does not care that his apartment in the assisted living facility smells like a kennel nor that no one will come to visit him any longer. The facility cleans the carpets frequently and is unhappy with the situation but will not make the ultimatum that would allow me to make the move to put the dog down & I cannot bring myself to be the grim reaper without some backing. I am the only child that is in contact with dad. Caregiver guilt is paralyzing me. We went together to the Veterinarian last spring. The Vet explained how the dog is blind & not aware enough to control himself & that it would be kindest to put him down. Dad would hear none of that. Dad has no outside contact with the world except me & I don't want to destroy our fragile relationship. What advice can you offer me on how to do anything but walk in & take the dog away while dad isn't there?
Dad is a 5 year pancreatic cancer survivor who lost his wife just months after his final treatments. He descended into drinking himself into a stupor every day & I had to remove him from his home, commit him to be detoxed & then moved into this assisted living facility. They have been nothing short of wonderful there & have offered to include him in all sorts of field trips and activities. Unless there is alcohol involved, he brushes it all off. He is completely apathetic on all levels. It pains me to watch him throw away the gift of life with both hands. He has nothing to say to me & I regret that I am running out of things to talk about in one sided conversations. He is on an anti depressant but it does not seem to help. His MD will not prescribe counseling unless dad asks for it. That won't happen.
I know what needs to be done, I just don't know how to accomplish it short of kidnapping the dog. Dad will never forgive me.
Thank you for listening.
If the dog is not in pain and suffering then there is no reason to put the dog down.
Would your father be willing to allow someone else to take the dog and care for it. There are organizations/rescues that take older animals and would be happy to find a home for him. I am doubting that your father will give the dog up. Try to find a solution for him to keep the dog. Bellybands are a great help. Also, there are doggie diapers.
Make the appointment for during Dad's nap time.
The whole process could be over in 15 minutes.
So that he is not suspicious, you could take the dog to the vet hospital after, to be cremated.
This is not just cavalierly "putting the dog down" , this is about what is best for this poor dog.
He needs to be freed of living in squalor, it is about quality of life for these dogs, not about how hard or sad it is for the "people".
Unfortunately we have to face and take care of these things for the animals we have domesticated, and they depend on us to do so.
I wish you the best, please consider this method and good luck with your father.
The quality of this dog's life is not optimum at this point and the vet is right.
Sometimes people do not understand how euthanasia IS the most humane option in some cases.
No disrespect to the commenter who offered that the dog wear diapers, but I think this woman has her hands full enough without adding that to the mix.
The father would no sooner change the poor dogs diapers than what he is doing now.
Please know that euthanasia is painless and made as stress free as possible by the vet.
A sedative will be given so that the dog has no awareness of being put down when the final injection is given and falls into a blissful sleep.
I was a surgical tech for Vets for years, what is inhumane is people who think that keeping animals alive no matter how much they suffer.
the dogs QOL is whats most important? idda knocked that crappin dog in the head months ago so dad wasnt living in a filthy dog pen. people. people are more important.
It is merciful to put them out of their misery. I wish we could offer same for elders. Sorry you are having to now do all this cleanup. Hope dad appreciates it.
I think it's probably best if people read the whole of a post before they comment on it. Max was blind, elderly and probably in pain. He wasn't being executed for the crime of incontinence.
Sunshine, how is your father, and how is Dog II? I expect they will both be missing Max very much. Will they be able to stay together for the foreseeable future? My condolences to your father. When an old dog dies, it takes so many joyful memories with it. Reassure him that it is natural and proper to grieve. If it helps, you could tell him that my 26 year old Army officer son wept his heart out when it was his beloved Cindy's turn to go.
I realize it is an emotional issue. RIP Max.
Hugs to you. What a difficult thing to have to do!