The stress from his care is gonna kill her. My father is 89 yrs old. He's had three strokes a few years ago, he has severe dementia and can't get around very well. He can no longer do much of anything for himself. He'll be bed ridden for days, then there are days when he wanders around the house late at night,as best he can, and even wanders outside. His behavior is very erratic, to say the least. He soils himself, his bed, and his bedroom floor almost nightly. He's also terrified of the tub and hasn't bathed in months. My mother is 84 and is reasonably independent. She is his primary caregiver, even though I do help out around the house when I can. She has stopped taking him to his scheduled appointments with his doctor and coumadin nurse because she has too much trouble getting him out of bed. His doctor has suggested that he may need to be put in a facility, and to take him to the ER to be evaluated, but she won't do it. I'm afraid that the stress from taking care of him, and dealing with his erratic behavior might be taking a toll on her health. I don't want to lose her, too. She acknowledges the fact that he needs to be in a nursing home, but yet she refuses to take the necessary steps to make it happen. I'm not exactly sure why. For his own health and her's too, he has got to be admitted to a facility. Everyday he gives my mother reasons why this needs to happen. My question is-do I or my siblings have any options here? Is there anything we can do to make this happen? I would hate to go over her head on this, but I'm afraid HER health might be at stake, as well as my father's.