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My dad has been an alcoholic most of his 67 years. In the past few years, I have been taking care of him. This past year has been the worst. He has fallen and injured himself at least 5 times in the past 7 months. He lives alone in a little studio apartment across town. I want to take better care of him, but I have a three year old and I still live with my mom (they separated when I was 5... the alcohol). I am so overwhelmed. I feel like a nursing home would be good for him... socialization, a maid, friends... he's so depressed and lonely. I'm not sure if it's going to work, though, because he's an alcoholic! I believe he has end stage liver disease. The symptoms have been quite apparent the past few months. I can tell he's dying. It's just getting so bad. He can barely get around by himself. Just yesterday I had to help him to the bathroom... and he still fell! He has begged us not to put him in a home... I don't want to piss him off! :( Any advice??

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I think probably he needs to go to detox and rehab before he can be placed. I would call your local area on aging. Tell them you think he needs more care than you can offer and about the alcohol problem. He might be willing to seek treatment if he is struggling a lot himself. Once he is in treatment for the addiction if you tell them he needs more support they will help you find it. You might find that if he stops drinking that he might be able to better care for himself. I also think you should go to alanon. In caring for him to well you might be helping him to continue to drink and be unable to care for himself. He can't quit drinking without medical treatment if he is an alcoholic. Most alcoholics have a vitamin B deficiency that can cause problems for them walking and caring for themselves. A medical detox will be needed to keep him from dying. They will treat him with B vitamins that should improve his health drastically. I would arrange for his treatment and tell him you can not continue to help him if he doesn't seek treatment and continues to drink. You feel stressed because this is a very complicated issue. Reach out to your area on aging they can help you
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Well, its either a care faciilty (maybe assisted living rather than skilled nursing) or detox/rehab. You love the guy, and maybe he needs a little tough love, and maybe you could get more help and perspective via Al-Anon too. He really could die of his alcoholism with falls and liver disease, so worrying about pissing him off might not be the right thing to worry about. He needs medical care and help with his addiction, and possibly will be getting to the point where he will accept it. if not, you have an potion to call Adult Protective Services and explain that there is an elder (OMG 67is not that old though) unable to care for themselves and see what else can be done.
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Pursue a medically supervised detox. At your fathers age -given the number of years he's been drinking and given his medical condition, detoxing any other way could kill him. Once he has detoxed you'll have a clearer picture as to whether assisted living or a nursing home will best address his needs. As for pissing him off - that should be the least of your worries. Sure, he won't be mad, as he'll probably be dead. Sorry.
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