I NEED HELP NOW!!!!!! My father is having a MAJOR meltdown complete with screaming, profanity, hitting me and throwing self from wheelchair!

rosie, I personally think you have done all you can for your father. Is he difficult most of the time? It may be better for all involved if he was placed in a facility. I know it is not a solution that most people prefer, but sometimes it is the best one.

I agree with JessieBelle. You've done what you could - your dad needs care and treatment far beyond what you can do by yourself. It sounds like he needs some kind of medication to calm him down. He could be starting to have some dementia occurring, unless he's been this way his whole life. You've done your best and it's got you and your dad stressed out to an unhealthy level for both of you. Get him some professional help. Even though you don't have records about the previous run-in with DCF, they're bound to have records of it. Call and get some help! You don't deserve to be treated this way by anyone, including your dad.

Thanks for updating us. My father is also threatening to call the cops on me. So, I'm very interested in your situation. I know that sooner or later he will call. I've informed him that if he does call, then I'm moving out. Of all his 8 children, I've been home my whole life to help him care for mom (24 yrs ago), and now him (2 yrs ago.) He's going thru the dementia stage and he's on what I call the paranoia-accusation stage. I'm mentally getting myself prepared to leave home. Oldest sis just moved in January, not much help from her....

You are a very strong, understanding daughter. And very determined to care for her father - who does not appreciate it.

Rosie, Hugs! So sorry you are going through this! If he has been Baker Acted. He cannot be released without a Psychiatrist saying he is capable and he may get a mandatory 72 hour hold if they think he is a danger to himself or others. CALL the hospital right a way and tell them of his behavior. Further, tell them that his behavior has caused you to no longer feel that it is a safe situation in your home and you will not permit him back. They will have to find placement for him elsewhere. Yes it is messy and horrible, but what you are describing is terrible and no way to live. He needs medication and observation. Hospital social workers can open doors for you in these situations, be persistant. Explain the history in detail.

I agree... Enough is enough... Ask yourself if you "want" to continue living like this, when you know there are other options?

Call 911 anyway... there will be a record at the hospital of his past accusations and the fact you have witnesses helps,,, then find a place for dad and have some peace...I hate it when it turns violent.... all we ever hear about is the elder being abused.... not the caregiver..... let us know what happens.... sending you prayers for strength...

Do exactly what these ladies have said. Call 911 he will be evaluated by professionals. They deal with this daily and will know. It's hard to understand what's happening. But if he has dementia then it's his brain sensories out of whack. The doctors can help with something that will keep him calm. And having it documented will help when these accusations come up. It's more important for your safety and for his own. Good Luck Sweetie.

Oh poor you how awful had my first outburst from my mum yesterday she had wrong bus pass and they couldn't let her on unless she paid she hurled abuse at the bus driver language ive never heard her use ever? I was so embarrassed and so stressed that I started shaking. I think if she got like your dad illness or not I would not be able to live like this I cant imagine what you must feel like but this is not an easy illness to deal with and we can only do so much to help we are only human sometimes it gets to a point when we have to think whats best for everyone you will end up very ill if this continues I hope you find a solution.

I forgot to add that he was in a nursing home and they told me to come get him because his medicare days were up and they had not applied for medicaid yet. I had to pay 600.00 before they would let him leave the facility because they said that was his co-pay for some of his medicare days. He has no more medicare days left until they start over and I have no idea when that is. I am also his POA for everything. He threatened to tell them I stole his money. I have only done what he told me to do but other than my husband and son there are no witnesses to that. I have read so many horror stories about caregivers being arrested based on the elderly persons word alone that I am afraid it will happen if I call for help. Dad is not hurt..just highly agitated. He finally let my son hep him off the floor but he is yelling Help every now and then. I even told him I would contact the nursing home to see if he could go back there (thats what he wants) if he would just calm down and let me clean him up and feed him. Oh No!!!! He is gonna tell the police what I did to him and have me arrested. last time he was admitted to the hospital after having one of these episodes the Dr walked in and declared him competent after only talking to him for 5 minutes.This has gone on almost all day. We are hoping he will have calmed down or forgotten all about it by tomorrow. He still refuses to get in his bed or eat. I will leave a sandwich and some fruit by his bed and he will probably eat it later. I am so done with this!!!! I try and do the right thing and he doesn't appreciate Nothing!!

I wish this were a more common routine check: if he's in a hospital setting, get a urinalysis done. Major change in behavior in the elderly can be a sign of a UTI.