I have bought him depends but he will only wear them outside his apartment. He has ulcerative colitis that is very bad and takes medication for it. His caregiver tells us he has accidents and doesnt rinse out his under pants and throws them in the laundry hamper on top of his other clothes. This is a very disgusting habit. How can I get him to stop this or at least rinse out his underwear before putting it in the hamper?

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You may not be able to do anything. It sounds as if his caregiver could do more to help, but if he is developing dementia or his medications are hampering his thinking, he may not realize what he's doing is unsanitary. I'm assuming you've tried to kindly explain this to him. At least he wears his protective wear when he goes out! By the way, this shows some understanding of what's going on, so he may just figure that in his home he can do as he wishes. You could see if a good friend of his can talk some sense into him. Elders often don't like taking "orders" from their kids.
Sometimes, we can't change what is going on and we have to learn to adjust.Good luck with changing that difficult behavior of his.
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