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My father went into a nursing home about two years ago. My mother joined him about a year ago when her health started to fail. They receive Medicaid and their social security checks go to the nursing home. Both of my parents lived with me before that in a rental apartment. Recently my father has gotten fed up with life in the nursing home. He's having constant arguments with my mother. He wants to leave the nursing home and come back to live in my apartment. I won't live with him. He's 96 years old and though he can still walk around on his own, he requires oversight that I cannot provide. I work full time. Frankly, we also never had the best of relationships so I have no interest in caring for him even if I could. I visit my parents every other day in the nursing home. I have told him that if he wants to leave the nursing home we can consult a social worker to see if other arrangements can be made for him but he is insistent that he wants to return to MY apartment which he still considers HIS apartment even though he hasn't lived there for two years. There is no lease for the apartment. I just pay the monthly rent. He has been threatening to leave the nursing home and just show up at my apartment. If he does, I'm not letting him in. Can my father or Florida law somehow FORCE me to bring him back into my apartment? Thank you.

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If they have the funds can he have his own room at the home? Just because he wants to live with you does not mean he CAN.. heck, I;d like to live on a cruise ship but that;s not gonna happen! I do agree if he just shows up.. call for an eval or just take him back!
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Pam's advice might sound pretty harsh. Call the police on your own father? Yup. You don't want to live with him, but you don't want anything bad to happen to him, right? So if he shows up at your door, don't let him wander away on his own.

If you get some warning from the NH, perhaps you can have reinforcement waiting when he arrives.

But the best thing would be to convince him that he cannot come to your place to live. Talk to the social worker at the NH. Talk to the doctor if Dad is now agitated. I hope you get some help in calming him down and convincing him that if he leaves he needs to go to another nursing home.

Let us know how this works out for you.
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Had a similar situation. I had my father visit for a week and when he broke the rules, he went home out of state (we drove him and it was his decision to return to his home). Afterwards he was saying he was just going to drive down because he liked it so much here, even got a map out. My sister told me all this. I was worried, because I didn't want him to live with me and was concerned he would just show up at my door. The thing that saved me was a firm 'no' and also I don't think he could actually drive 6 hours on major highways to reach me.

Does you father have any money? Can he actually get a cab and come to your apartment? It's one thing to vow to do something and another to actually do it. Hope it works out for you.
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Talk to his MD about medications to calm him down. If he shows up at the door, have the police take him back to the Nursing Home or to the hospital for a psychiatric admission. Do not let him in. Just call 911.
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