My dad is dying. I am so sad because I love him so much but how can I let go?

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My dad was an amazing influence on my life. He never judged me. He called me "beautiful" when I wasn't. He called me a "genius" when I was anything but. Today, he decided to sleep all day. He gave me a night of rest last night. I miraculously didn't need to put oxygen on him. But then, he didn't want oxygen all day. He wanted to sleep all day. It's like he just gave up. I held him by the hand, and I said, "Dad, I love you." He has given me so much. I gave him a kiss on his forehead. I rubbed his back. Finally I called our priest with my husband and the priest gave my dad his last rites. My dad didn't wake up through it. His head is so swollen. I have given him morphine to help with the pain. He hasn't waken up through it. I have called the nurses with his plight. They say if he is comfortable then he is okay. But I am not okay. I never expect it and I fight. But he wants to let go. I want to let him go, and I want to live my life. How can I? I have given so much. He gave very much to me. He is my dad and I love him and I always will.

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I'm sorry you are in so much pain. It is clear that your dad is an amazing and loving person. Your love will certainly endure.
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Genevieve, I am so sorry. Your dad sounds like he is a very special person and wonderful dad. It must comfort him a great deal that you have been there for him. I will keep you and your dad in my prayers tonight.
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Genevieve, I am so sorry, and I know exactly how you feel too! My parents were everything to us, both such wonderful people. My Dad, like yours was my biggest supporter, and Loved me and my 5 siblings like there was no tomorrow. You must be incredibly Proud to call him Dad, and of course he is so proud of how you have been the one who stepped up to help, when your folks really needed you. I know that it is very sad time, but remember that you have had the best, not many people get to say that, and you will always have your memories of the wonderful times together, and nobody can take that away from you. This just might be his time to go, and you will need to make peace with that, but it's so hard to let go. I will be thinking and praying for you and your family as his time nears, so please take care!
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Genevieve, I have a feeling he said you were beautiful and smart because you are. Dads like that are one in a million. You have been so blessed to have him in your life. I know he felt blessed also. I know that you will miss having him here on earth with you. I like to believe that our loved ones will be waiting for us on the other side of the door when it comes our time.

(((((Genevieve)))))
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You are all sweeties and thank you so much for your outpouring of support. The priest came over and gave the last rites and prayed over my dad and mom. Dad slept through the whole thing and through the night with morphine every four hours, oxygen, hand holding and just letting him rest. He then got up yesterday long enough to have a few spoonfuls of yogurt and then back to sleep. He is peaceful. Yet skeletal. I've been coping by planting mint and basil in the yard, watering the tomatoes and tending to the apple trees, walking the dog, putting up two shelves and organizing books, also tending to mom who just wants to stay in the room with dad but amazingly mom still has an appetite like a horse. I'm trying to cut her meals in half because while she stays in the room with him it means she isn't moving about a bit and she is four feet tall with two hundred pounds so that's a round woman! They are like Frip and Frap those two, one is thin and one is fat. They are cute though, they have been married close to sixty years and always take care of each other, for better or worse. She does like her meals, my mom!
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Genevieve I am so sorry.. He knows how much you love him and will always be watching over you.
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Genevive, such a hard thing to go through. Know that your dad knows and is very grateful for all you have done for him. He wants you to now live your life, find the support you need. Hospice should have a social worker on staff that could help you through this. Many hospice in my area also have grief support grouos when the time comes. Manychurches do as well.

Thinking of you and dad.
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Basically exhaustion has taken over grief. I prefer exhaustion. Rain today so I'm enjoying the peace and quiet and sound of rain. Our son's job is very low demanding so he is sleeping in, as is hubbie, mom and dad. So it's very peaceful and I'm grateful for that.
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And I'm grateful for all your kind comments. I feel very supported by my cyber-community of compatriots in caregiving.
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What a beautiful tribute to your father. His parenting style alone is proof of a life well spent.

How blessed you were, to have a fine man like him guide you into adulthood. And your father was blessed to have your loving care during his difficult years. A sad goodbye, for sure.

You have a delightful spirit; it comes through in your writing. Now I know where you got it! You will always honor your father -- simply by "being yourself." :-)

Wishing you comfort, as dad is relieved of his suffering. You did your part beautifully. Go forward with his love.
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