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We keep trying to talk to him about it, but he insists he's fine. He's 81. He lives out of town on a dark narrow road and drives to town to drink, then drives home. He's about to lose his license and insurance and if he does, I know he will still drink and drive. He's going to kill himself or worse, someone else. We try to at least get him to move into town, but "it's too much trouble", even though we offer to take care of everything, etc.. he won't let me clean his house, or hire anyone else to do it and it's filthy. Mom died 4 years ago.

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I am surprised your Dad hadn't already lost his right to drive having 3 accidents within a 6 month time frame. His car should be impounded. I would contact the local police and ask for their assistance on getting your Dad off the road.

As for your Dad not wanting to move, refusing to have anyone clean his house or hire anybody, that is very common with elders. They want to feel like they are still independent and in total control. My parents are in their 90's and they still refuse help or to hire anyone.... I just leave them alone unless it is something they are doing that is unsafe. Eventually they will call wanting me to hire someone.
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Opps!! My 91 YO FIL still has a drink or 3 and drives.. you can;t stop him. worries us all,, but he is stubborn as heck, and mentally fine. (if misguided..) It was my MIL who kept banging the car up, they finally did not renew her liscence ( said she looked "shakey" and would have to take on the road test. )That stopped her. Now what to do with him?
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He has to take the written (actually verbal) driving test for the 3rd time next week.
If he fails that, he said they said "they will have find another way".. which he thinks means some sort of other test..but really means they will pull his license. Right now he's on a temp license, and I know he will still drive with or without a license or insurance. Impound his car? Doubt if I can make that happen.. Call the authorities and say what..? My Dad drives drunk all the time, here's the make/model/license plate, so be on the lookout? Would they take me seriously? I feel bad doing something like that, but I'll feel worse if I don't try to do SOMETHING and he kills someone.
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Yes call the police! report him to the DMV If FIL has an accident while driving drunk I will be doing this! Its about the other people on the road at this point. My MIL hit a kid on a bike , he was luckily fine but she was certain it was NOT her fault. This may have been the thing that did her in ... but her car looks like a Mad MaX movie... they never got anything fixed. Scrapes down the side, dents on the frount and back.... no idea how it happened of course. So glad she no longer drives.
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Oh oops, I kinda sound like a hippocrite here.. My hubs cousin follows his dad home, or drives them when he is drinking that we know about. I know how hard this is. We try to steer him away from the booze when he is with us.. or I water it down. He knows, but its my house so that is how it is..
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