My stepmum has early stages of Alzheimer's, my Dad is already struggling. So far she's getting confused with dates & forgetfulness, she's given up driving & can't go to the supermarket alone due to leaving her bag or trying to walk out of the store with items. He keeps asking me for support and I try and listen and I've trawled the internet for helpful things, I try keeping things positive, but it's not good enough for him. I've got 2 jobs and a young son and I'm also suffering with anxiety & depression.
Me & my Dad do not have a good relationship in the first place. He's been a bully throughout my whole life and very emotionally abusive. I'm really struggling with my own life and really can't cope with this as well, I feel I'm going to crumble if he keeps putting all this on me & I also feel so guilty that I'm being utterly useless. I'm finding it hard as I don't even like my Dad due to things from the past, I'm sure I love him deep down, but I really feel I can't give him support or sympathy due to our bad relationship. He was really nasty to me yesterday, he text me drunk saying he needed support, I was in the middle of putting my son to bed, so I text him as soon as I saw it and I was really struggling to know what to say. So just put that I didn't know what to say and that it must be hard for him. I told him that I thought he needed to speak to his doctor to get some more help, or go to the support group I found him so that he can speak with other carers who are living this and to also try and get in with his counselor. I said he needed to get help from professionals who know what they are doing.
He responded by saying I don't need your platitude I need support. So I said I was sorry and asked him what I could do to help. He just started being nasty and repeating he needs support. I really am at a loss as to what to do. I have barely any spare time and my own mental health is deteriorating, he also lives a long way away, so it's not just so easy to call in. I have trawled the internet again for ideas of how to support him, but a lot of ideas involve helping them with cleaning etc, he has a cleaner and I don't have the time or energy. I wondered about offering to do his shopping for him online and getting it delivered to his house each week. It's not much, but surely it's a help. I feel like the worst person in the world and don't know what to do, any suggestions? If he keeps up putting pressure on me and being nasty I feel like I'm going to have to cut ties with him, but he's my Dad. Help!