Tuscon, everyone who has commented so far is right on. Alcoholism is an incurable disease that does not discriminate.
Millions of people have found a new life through AA though, as OldBob1936 said, it's one day at a time. I've known many people who have been in your shoes and have found Al-Anon to be a gift. Through Al-Anon you will be sharing your grief and frustration with people who know what you are going through. As with any group, it is made up of human beings. Some groups function better than others for some personalities. You may want to try more than one, but please do try.
Guilt for not being able to fix the problem is not an option. Gladimhere has a compassionate, realistic outlook. I thank you all for your helpful, compassionate answers. And Tuscon, blessings to you. Take care of yourself. Carol
I am a recovering alcoholic with 30 years continuous sobriety in June 2016. Let me say that it keeps 20 people busy to try to cope with one practicing alcoholic. Alcoholics Anonymous was and is the answer for me. On one can fix an alkie. The alkie and the almighty, however, and in my case, fellow recoverers in AA is getting the job done a day at a time for me. I echo the suggestion that you go to Al-Anon. Grace + Peace, Bob
Sorry if I seem cynical, but am I the only one who doesn't think of 55 y/o as being "senior" (in spite of AARP and other organizations that lower the age to gain members)?
However, I don't mean to minimize the problem of alcoholism at any age. Perhaps alcoholics don't live long enough to qualify truly as seniors?
There is not a cure for alcoholism. It has been stuided an found that the cause may be some malformation in the brain that is indicative to develop alcoholism.
A very dear friend of mine born in 1960, alcoholic, had gone to 30 day rehab. The first thing he did when he got out was to go to a bar. He mostly drank cheapest beer he could find. About eight years ago he added peppermint schnapps to his regimine. A year and a half ago he caused a fire at my home, then decided to leave. He was found at the side of a highway a month after the fire.
He spent two weeks in the hospital on intravenous antibiotics which often cause sepsis in alcoholics because the liver damage does not process the medication correctly. He went into septic shock that caused brain damage then went into hospice. He died two months after the fire about a year and a half ago.
As hard as I tried I could not fix him. He was a good man and died at the age of 54. You will not be able to fix this person. Find alanon meetings and try to change yourself and the way you think about alcoholism. Enabling will not help at all.
There is absolutely no cure. It's really hard but don't buy it for them. Don't join in any secrecy surrounding it.try not to continue the codependency that happens as a result of being around an alcoholic. If al anon support group for families etc is not an option for you at this stage there's lots of info on the net and books. You need support to process this. You can only work on you and how you deal/ process the healing you need to go through. It can be heart breaking but the person with the alcohol issues needs to want to change. I've walked this road. The person around me has been sober for 8 years. I celebrate those years and am grateful for those years. For me dealing with the repercussions of the past seems to be quite a journey. Good luck with your journey. Trust me you are not alone!
AA believes it's the first drink that gets you drunk. As someone who's been sober in AA for 44 years, I always keep this in mind. The person may need to detox under supervision before trying AA.
There is no cure for alcoholism. The person has to decide by themselves for themselves that they don't want to drink and then quit. I am sorry to be so direct, but it is true.
55 is not elderly I agree but I think what you mean is a long time alcoholic. A person who has been drinking that long has to want to stop. There is no cure for the disease but like many other diseases one can life with it if they understand what it takes to manage it. For alcoholism the treatment is not drinking at all...as life said above there is no controled drinking for someone with this disease. After drinking heavly for 25 years it wont be easy but can be done. He has however most likely done much damage to his liver which cannot be repaired. You desire to want to help is wonderful but you cannot for this is one of only a few diesases where the answer lays totally in the patients hands. AA has helped hundreds of thousands stay sober but they will all tell you they are only one drink away from relapse. He may never stop, so you need to heed the advice of other posters and find help for yourself through AlAnon, reading, or perhaps removing yourself from the situation. It is a very sad thing to watch a person distroy themselves. I hope you find the help you need to cope and not be sucked down with him.
Millions of people have found a new life through AA though, as OldBob1936 said, it's one day at a time. I've known many people who have been in your shoes and have found Al-Anon to be a gift. Through Al-Anon you will be sharing your grief and frustration with people who know what you are going through. As with any group, it is made up of human beings. Some groups function better than others for some personalities. You may want to try more than one, but please do try.
Guilt for not being able to fix the problem is not an option. Gladimhere has a compassionate, realistic outlook. I thank you all for your helpful, compassionate answers. And Tuscon, blessings to you. Take care of yourself.
Carol
Alcoholics Anonymous was and is the answer for me. On one can fix an alkie.
The alkie and the almighty, however, and in my case, fellow recoverers in AA is getting the job done a day at a time for me. I echo the suggestion that you go to Al-Anon.
Grace + Peace,
Bob
However, I don't mean to minimize the problem of alcoholism at any age. Perhaps alcoholics don't live long enough to qualify truly as seniors?
A very dear friend of mine born in 1960, alcoholic, had gone to 30 day rehab. The first thing he did when he got out was to go to a bar. He mostly drank cheapest beer he could find. About eight years ago he added peppermint schnapps to his regimine. A year and a half ago he caused a fire at my home, then decided to leave. He was found at the side of a highway a month after the fire.
He spent two weeks in the hospital on intravenous antibiotics which often cause sepsis in alcoholics because the liver damage does not process the medication correctly. He went into septic shock that caused brain damage then went into hospice. He died two months after the fire about a year and a half ago.
As hard as I tried I could not fix him. He was a good man and died at the age of 54. You will not be able to fix this person. Find alanon meetings and try to change yourself and the way you think about alcoholism. Enabling will not help at all.
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