Does anyone else's parent cry for no reason?

My Mother is in a 24 hour supervised assisted living with alzheimer's. She sometimes cries and it is real. She sobs and is clearly feeling a deep sadness. I have come to realize that the reason she is crying like she just experienced the dealth of someone close, is because she just did. All of the sudden, she is crying because her mother dies; father died; son died.....etc. To her, these momens of realization just happened and she is really sad. My mom can no longer verbalize her sadness (or anything for that matter), but I just tell her that I am sorry and that I know she must be sad or scared and that I would feel the same way. Then, as other's have mentioned, I redirect her. This is the meanest way to leave this world and I hope I can just hold her hand and give her the same comfort she gave me all those years that I was young and needed her. I think you need to find a way to get some time for yourself, so you can keep your sanity. Although I worry for her day and night, because the place she lives seems to hire just about anyone regardless of experience or background, but at least I can leave and catch my breath once in a while. My thoughts go out to you. Not having a break can cause a lot of damage to your life as well as hers. Do try to use any help you can get. Good luck.

My mom just started the crying jags. I used to hug her and tell her everything was okay.That helped for a while, now there is no stopping her. She usually doesn't start crying until about 4 pm, I have tried to get her to have a nap but she refuses. I thought it was me being sharp with her but it has nothing to do with it. I just leave her alone and she normally comes out of it at some point. I go through a lot of tissues with the constant running nose and now the crying. I realize it is neurological and there is nothing I can do, even the doctor won't do anything as it is sporadic and not a daily occurrence. I have noticed recently that mom has taken to talking to herself and some of the things are funny but I don't really know what she is saying as she is pretty quiet when she talks to herself. I am now dressing her because she has forgotten how to put on her clothes. I am so thankful for my week of respite coming up on June 2-8. I am still waiting for the phone call for when a bed opens up for her to be moved to long term secure assisted living. Hopefully before I crash. Thank you all for the support. Vickie

Is there any way for her to have a live-in caregiver? Or shifts of caregivers? One of the sad things about putting a loved one in a NH is that sometimes it hastens the process of them letting go of life. I am not trying to upset you further, but it is a fact of life. Please check into as many resources as possible and see if you can't get your mom home without you having to quit your job or it cause any more problems in your marriage... I will pray for you and a good outcome... let us know how things are going..
Also you may try speaking with the NH social worker, or ask the NH to guide you to resources. There are many on this sight and many on the internet.. good luck..

SING !!!! It used to happen to my Mom all the time and my husband and I and my son and his wife would SING. Dashing thru the Snow, Jingle Bells, You put your right hand in and you do the hokey pokey, if youre happy and you know it, clap your hands, how much is that doggie in the window. etc etc etc. If they arent wet or constipated, they have no frontal wedgie and no fever, just sing!!!!!! You can also order a lawrence welk Memories and Milestones DVD for them, they love it! Good luck!@

Oh I am so sorry! I think you and your Mom feel the same. My husband and I also work fulltime. I have a caretaker here now, I used to use daycare and they are open until 6pm if you need. Sounds like your husband wont got for bringing her home with help? You can get homecare, or use daycare, its certainly hard but its worth it for them and for your sanity .Sounds like you need to have her close and happy regardless of the work it involves, as I do. She will be happy and you will be still stressed but in a different way, you will feel better knowing she is home and happy. I doubt all the marraige problems are all stemming from your Mom, he should be so proud of you for being a great daughter. Wouldnt he want you to take care of him if he got sick, or a child? I am sending you many hugs, hang in there, you have a big heart of gold and you are just doing the best you can. Please take care...........

My mother never took any drugs in her life, either, and it was a real struggle to get her to take blood pressure medicine when she started needing it. She has MCI now, and if she lives long enough I suppose it will progress to dementia. She's 90 now, so maybe that won't happen. A dear drug-free aunt developed dementia in her 80s. If you know 3 elderly people who have dementia and 2 in the same age bracket who don't, and all the dementia folks love chocolate ice cream and neither of the other two do, that is not enough to suggest that chocolate ice cream causes dementia. I leave that kind of thing to qualified scientists who have large populations to analyze. I noticed that the 3 big books on Amazon blaming lipitor for memory loss are all by the same authors. They are making money hand over fist on that claim. Not all claims are created equal and you need to be careful who you trust.

Ed, often a person with dementia can't tell you whether or not they are hungry or tired, let alone the reason for behavior like crying or flying into a rage. Sometimes they can be articulate enough to give you clues, and that can help guide your behavior. "Use talk therapy to make her open up and tell you what's hurting inside," is far easier said than done. Most of us are not trained therapists and many of our loved ones are impaired in their ability to communicate. It is a great suggestion when it applies, but it is a pretty heavy burden to lay on us sons and daughters and spouses. The other part -- show her that you love and care for her" is more within our power, and is essential. That is a perfect role for sons and daughters and spouses.

JEANNE:

Point well taken. I should've read Luv's profile before commenting. I either have positive and learning experiences, and this one is both. Thank you so much.

-- Ed

My father- in -law , due to Parkinsones, lost the ability to control his emotions and was often tearful. When this happened, he felt embarassed and humiliated, which made it worse. We learned to just let it happen and tried not to respond emotionally, knowing that the tears were not brought on by the need to be consoled.

My mother is 78 and cries uncontrollably every single day. Her doctor thinks it is depression and has prescribed a medication, but it isn't helping. It is very frustrating, but I know she can't help it. She realizes that she is doing it and then cries because she is crying.