Cremation Ashes. Any suggestions?

My mom scattered my grandma’s ashes in a field of bluebonnets. But she knew the farmers and didn’t get in trouble for disposal of human remains in unlicensed place.

A co-worker loved the racetrack and Las Vegas. His wife scattered some ashes at the Finish line at the local Horse Track. Other ashes were scattered in 3 casinos in Las Vegas. (neither were approved and until now only a few people knew about it)
Another co-worker, his wife had his ashes further processed and melted to glass discs. She gave one to me and a few others to other close friends.
There are places that will make Jewelry specifically diamonds from ashes. (they probably cost as much as or more than a stone you would buy at a jewelry store.)
I always told my Husband if I died before he did that I wanted him to scatter my ashes in the garden. (He would get so upset that I would even talk about death)
I think most people just place them in a "niche" in/at the cemetery.

I personally find the trend to divvy up cremains into multiple containers to pass out to friends and family or making jewellery and other keepsakes ghoulish and creepy (but hey, to each their own)

My sis works in long term care and you'd be surprised how many people there have an urn stored away in their closet either because they hope to be interred together or because they didn't take care of things soon enough, what's problematic is when nobody bothers to collect them after the resident passes away.

There are designated “gardens” in some churches where the ashes may be mingled with other congregants.

There is a service online through which the Departed can be pressed into a diamond.

Some people “donate” their LOs to the NY SUBWAY System.

When it's my turn to go I would like my ashes to go into a body of water since I'm a water person. I love oceans, rivers, streams, etc.

What was your LO's hobbies or favorite places? I would start with that.

Sorry about your loss,
Jenna

My dad wouldn't discuss what he wanted or make any plans, so I made the decision to take his cremains to the farm he grew up on and talked about all the time. He obviously had the happiest times of his life there.

So I took his earthly remains to the place where his earthly happiness was.

When my nephew died, my brother would not make any decisions about what he wanted to do. We had offered to pay for the services and he just had to arrange it, no go. I, also, told him that I would have the cremains shipped to him, all he had to do was put his address on the FAX that he had to send to the crematorium, no go. After trying to get my brother to do something, for 3 months, he had ALL the authority, the medical examiner told me that something had to be decided or they would deal with it, basically cremate him throw the remains out. I think he said flush them. This prompted my brother to sign the required release so I could pay for the cremation.

I made the decision to have him cremated and separate his remains into little packs so that each sibling and both parents and incubating mom could each get one and go say there personal goodbyes at some place that they had good times with him.

We then had a celebration of life. Which my brother couldn't be bothered to attend.

So, as ghoulish as it seems to separate the cremains, I believe that it gave all of my nieces and nephews the chance to say goodbye in the best way possible.

I think that putting their remains where they had happiness is the best thing to do, if you are not placing them in a cemetery.

See what your state says and go from there.

I'm sorry for your loss.

My husband and I will choose direct cremation. I don't want the ashes preserved and certainly don't want my only child to have "containers" of cremains (unless she wants them.) I'll discuss this with my daughter and let her know the cremation service can dispose of the cremains and she should not "feel guilty."

My mom mingled her parents ashes and scattered them in the ocean.

My sister's mom-in-law got little silver boxes with ashes in each for all the children and herself. They are engraved with her husband's name and dates.

My mom has a prepaid cremation and box. The family will scatter her ashes in the ocean at a much later date than her memorial.

Do what helps you and the rest of the family to remember this person with kindness. Do whatever gives peace.

I worked in an office where burial certificates were issued and I was talking to one of the undertakers and he said their attic had LOTS of cremations that were never claimed. And they have to keep them. I joked that even in death you could gain weight just from the dust collecting on your box of cremains.

I have made it clear to my family that I have no interest at all in a marble bus locker in a cemetery.

There is a specific body of water on the West Coast of Canada where I would like to become fish food. If I am living far from there, then any moving body of water, a river, stream etc. Not a stagnant pond is some cemetery either.

There is a beautiful cemetery where I plan to live out my years, my grandfather is interred there, my great Granny's ashes are there are are a dozen or so other family members. I would consider that too. When I say a beautiful cemetery I am referring to the local one that is in the trees, beside the ocean. No manicured lawns, just a place a peace.

Mum's ashes when the time comes will go into the Ocean where her Mum's did.

I jokingly tell my DD that I want to be kept on her mantle where ever she goes so I can watch over her... Luckily she knows I am kidding! I want dumped in the WV river I love!

Dad asked me to scatter his ashes around the small town he grew up in so I put some on his parents graves and his grandparents, the football field and the swimming pool. For Mom it’s been her grandparents and oldest sister and parents. My SIL has my brothers ashes on her coffee table and said when she goes it’s their daughter's job to figure out what to do with them😀

We recently scattered my husbands ashes at his favorite beach, in the ocean, and being that I am more of a mountain person, I have told my children that I want my ashes scattered down a waterfall in the mountains.

I could have written this post! My father's ashes are in their fancy box on my dining room sideboard. I had my mother's placed in her church's burial plot where they accepted cremains and honored the deceased with a simple plaque inside the church. My father doesn't have a church and we are a few states away from anywhere he'd like to have his ashes scattered. It's a tough call. Good luck to you.

Do what you like with them, but know that until you make the decision, be sure to shake the box every couple of days. I wasn't told to do that, and after 2 1/2 years, my dad's ashes have solidified into a brick. Fortunately, he is going into the marble bus locker in a few weeks along with my mother, but there would have been no scattering if that's what we wanted to do.

I say to do whatever you feel would be special to honor their spirit.

My mom and dad had a sweet elderly neighbor. She wasn’t married, no children, nor any living relatives. She left everything in the hands of the woman who lived across the street from us. The woman across the street wasn’t trustworthy and deceived the old woman. The old woman left her everything. her house, jewelry, all that she had to the woman that she thought was her friend.

The old woman was Jewish. She had purchased a plot in the Jewish cemetery years before she was even sick. She DID NOT wish to be cremated. It was against her religious beliefs.

The woman across the street invited all of the neighbors over. supposedly for a gathering to remember Ruth. It turned out that the woman across the street had her body cremated, she then attempted to hand out teaspoons to everyone to spoon Ruth’s ashes into Ruth’s rose garden. It was awful! My parents and everyone else in attendance were horrified and would not spoon her cremains into the rose garden.

It is truly sad when someone has no respect for the person who trusts them to do what is right.

Your situation is different. You weren’t told anything specific, so it is up to you what is done.

I didn't know about the ashes hardening into a brick. My mom picked up my grandmother's ashes and put them in the trunk of her car, where they stayed for 2 years. We ended up scattering grandma's ashes and my aunt's ashes in Corpus Christi bay.
My stepmom's ashes are on the shelf in the living room along with the ashes of 4 of my dogs.
My stepmom wanted to be scattered in the ocean, so when I have a chance, we are going on a cruise and I will scatter them there. One of my friends told me that one of the cruise lines has a special ceremony for this. I can't remember which one, but you just need to tell them in advance.

Bios Urn looks interesting. Especially if you LO liked the outdoors or trees.

I put my mother's and father's ashes in two separate wooden cigar boxes--excellent quality (humidors) in an antique cabinet. You can buy those boxes on Amazon and you will be surprised how beautiful they are at a fraction of a cost a funeral home would charge.

MIL and FIL were spread under the same tree (away from any path) in the middle of a bluebell wood they loved to walk in.
Step-father were spread on the outgoing tide of the sea where they lived, one evening when beach was deserted.

I read once that someone tried to scatter the ashes of their relatives at Disney World! I think they were stopped before they could do it. I am also glad that I wrote my post question because I did not know about ashes solidifying into a brick; as described by some forum members below.

I thank everyone that has answered my post. It is very helpful and interesting. (See my response to Taarma below on what I am planning now.)

Do people understand that the next generation who inherits kept ashes will be burdened with them (and subsequent generations!) so they might get discarded anyway? I told my sons to either scatter mine at our favorite beach (into the water, far out where they can't accidentally land on anyone - ew!) or to add them into a small concrete mold of a sea creature and put them far out off the beach into the water so that it eventually functions as a reef (which is what the DNR there does so I already know this is beneficial and not harmful). If you keep the remains please provide the funds and directions for what to do with them when YOU pass on.

Plant a tree/bush in their memory. Mix the ashes with the soil. Simple yet respectful.

I held a ceremony of scattering of my dad’s ashes and rose petals at a park in my dad’s hometown. It actually turned out to be a lovely event. Simple, but unique. I would definitely do this again.

Very little discussion here on the legal aspects of disposing of cremains. Every State has regulations. Basically, it is illegal to dispose of ashes anywhere on property that you do not own. “At sea” also specifies how far out from land and the type of container used.

I have dealt with the ashes of two relatives. The first is now in the possession of the third “caretaker”. The second was buried in a conventional cemetery with just the sexton and myself present.

If you choose to dispose of the ashes in an other than approved method, be careful you don’t get caught.

Listen to your own heart about how to dispose of the ashes. A friend of mine scattered her LO's ashes in many places around the world that they loved.

My dad has requested that he be cremated with no service of any kind.

He is a lover of lighthouses ,so since I have been instructed to do as I wish with his remains.

My plan is to scatter his ashes near a lighthouse.

I have to of course inquire on the legality of scattering his ashes but that is the plan.

We put my Mom in an inlet near a lighthouse. We did it sneakily but she now is floating around the ocean. Every year on her birthday, we put flowers from our gardens into the ocean from whatever beach we may be near at the time. My sis and I are within 30 minutes of beaches so it may be our homes. This year, my DD put some in from a beach in the Outer Banks and we had her children do it so now the tradition will carry on.
So much better than a grave that may or may not be visited. I don't think I've visited my Dad's grave in 45 years as it is far away yet Mom's is fluid, literally.