Follow
Share

I have my LO’s ashes. This person never wanted to discuss or make plans about death. It was like if we do not talk about, it will not happen. I have some ideas how I will handle the situation, but would like to hear from others on this forum what they did with the ashes; other than placing or burial in a cemetery.

Find Care & Housing
Dear Myra2Evelyn,
My husband died in Dec 2020 smack dab in the middle of covid. Many who loved him dearly could not attend a funeral, no matter where they lived due to their ages and covid quarantine and restrictions. So, we invited approx 20 of our dearest friends and we chartered a boat (large pontoon style) and took his ashes out for a memorial at sea. We loved the ocean and it was on a beautiful day in Dec. The boat captain knew the laws about how far out to sea we needed to go. The urn was biodegradable from the bottom with a giant paper magnolia on top. Our 2 adult children placed his urn in the water together and we placed a wreath of flowers out as well. It was phenomenal. We also had booked a room at one of the restaurants back at the docks where we all enjoyed a meal together when we returned from sea. We laughed, we cried and found healing in each other. Also, we had someone stream a video on a fb group page so those who desired to, could watch live from home. It was an emotionally amazing day. Blessings to you as you decide whats best.
Helpful Answer (12)
Reply to NeesaLee
Report

Plant a tree/bush in their memory. Mix the ashes with the soil. Simple yet respectful.
Helpful Answer (10)
Reply to lisah13
Report
Ricky6 Aug 1, 2021
I like your idea, however, we live in the city high rise and cannot do.
(0)
Report
Many people choose to keep the Ashes.

you cam even have jewelry made from Ashes.

Lots of people spread them somewhere special that meant something to the person.

LIike if the person enjoyed hiking in the Mountains, then spread them at the top of a mountain.

If the person loved the Beach then spread the Ashes on the sand or in the ocen.

If you don't know of a place, spread the Ashes someplace that makes you happy.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to bevthegreat
Report

I personally find the trend to divvy up cremains into multiple containers to pass out to friends and family or making jewellery and other keepsakes ghoulish and creepy (but hey, to each their own)

My sis works in long term care and you'd be surprised how many people there have an urn stored away in their closet either because they hope to be interred together or because they didn't take care of things soon enough, what's problematic is when nobody bothers to collect them after the resident passes away.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to cwillie
Report
Cover99 Jul 30, 2021
Your first paragraph Lol. Many friends and family, "ghost" after the service is over.
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
Do people understand that the next generation who inherits kept ashes will be burdened with them (and subsequent generations!) so they might get discarded anyway? I told my sons to either scatter mine at our favorite beach (into the water, far out where they can't accidentally land on anyone - ew!) or to add them into a small concrete mold of a sea creature and put them far out off the beach into the water so that it eventually functions as a reef (which is what the DNR there does so I already know this is beneficial and not harmful). If you keep the remains please provide the funds and directions for what to do with them when YOU pass on.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to Geaton777
Report
cak2135 Aug 3, 2021
There is no next generation with me; I never married nor had children
(1)
Report
My cremains will go to Eternal Reefs. As a life long lover of the ocean, I will be made into a reef bell and taken out to a location in the ocean. Within several months, marine life will begin to grow replacing the loss of so much of our sea life.
At my family cemetery, I'm asking my name be added on the headstone with the GPS marker of my ocean resting place.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to Waterspirit
Report
Harpcat Aug 3, 2021
Wow..never heard of that. Lovely idea.
(1)
Report
I jokingly tell my DD that I want to be kept on her mantle where ever she goes so I can watch over her... Luckily she knows I am kidding! I want dumped in the WV river I love!
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to pamzimmrrt
Report

I buried my mother's in her backyard. She loved the place, so she can stay there. We scattered my friend's parents in the woods. One of my best friend's husband loved his Dozer (dog). When Dozer died he had him cremated and never did anything with the ashes. When Bill died, she mixed his ashes with Dozer's ashes and scattered them on trails where they used to run. That way they would always be together. I was at a memorial service where the gal requested to be scattered on her beloved 2 acre desert property.

Back when God was a child, I worked for the Forest Service and I used to write permits for scattering ashes. The permit system was so all the ashes wouldn't be in one place. For instance, if a particular place wasn't requested, I would issue a permit for Black Mountain, next time it would be Thomas Mountain, then Indian Truck Trail and so on.

Many many years ago a friend's grandma wanted to be scattered over the Sierra Nevada Mountains. They rolled her ashes up in a long scarf, flew a small plane over the mountains, and dumped her out. The problem was, the scarf was too short and the wind blew a lot of grandma back in the plane. He said they probably vacuumed as much of Grandma up as got dumped over the Sierras.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to MaryKathleen
Report

My neighbor buried her husband under the front yard tree, and put white lights on it… shines every night…
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to babsjvd
Report

My husband's ashes were divided into several containers so some could go to family members who wanted them and some to his best friend and favorite place on earth and some to a family farm he also loved. Some of his ashes are here with me in the house so he "can be in on" whatever I am doing. I also take some of him with me when I go on road trips, b/c we both loved road trips.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to RedVanAnnie
Report
Harpcat Aug 3, 2021
That is so sweet about his ashes going on road trips and being in on things at home! Love that!
(3)
Report
See All Answers
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter