Hi I have been quarantining with my 89 yr old mother since mid March - we all had covid in NYC and she was hospitalized for 5 days and home (mostly in bed) for 5 weeks. She is better now and still has antibodies but hasn't seen family since last Christmas. We skipped Thanksgiving but now she wants to get together with her 2 nephews and their families for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day - it will be the same 11 people on both days. Her Drs advised against it. I have been pleading that we stay home. She wants to go! She was near tears saying I can't stay in this house any longer. She also said, this could be my last Christmas. I have HIGH anxiety about going but how can I not take her even with the risks? I don't want to go but she is not backing down. I don't want to go through covid again with her alone in the hospital but she seems to just want to go. I'm really having a ton of anxiety over this and shocked my mom can't just stay home a few more months (like all of us) until this is over.
You said, “I don’t want to go.” So, don’t do it.
She’s not giving up. Well you don’t have to give up either.
Tell her, No! If you can’t bear to hear her complain and of course it’s hard to hear, then walk away, wear ear plugs and most of all tell her that is your FINAL decision! She will give up because she has to.
We are in the home stretch concerning COVID. I don’t blame you for not wanting to get together with others.
Keep your ears open about the future. If her doctor approves a visit later on, it will be just as nice.
She doesn’t have to have a visit during the Christmas season.
I love my nephews and their families but I won’t be seeing them. They FaceTimed with me for Thanksgiving. I was fine with that.
Stick to your guns. Don’t cave! Do what is best for you.
This truly is best for your mom too. Her doctor has not approved of any socializing at this time. It is heartbreaking.
It’s truly sad but unfortunately, these are the times that we are living in.
Your mother is 89 years old and has survived the virus. I'd let her do whatever she wants to do with regard to celebrating the holidays this year. You can stay home if you'd like to, but why should she have to?
And to say this whole thing will be 'over' in a few more months is wishful thinking, really. Even with a vaccine, only a certain percentage of us will be willing to take it, meaning 'herd immunity' is unlikely to happen. I seriously doubt there's an end in sight for at least another year if not more. Who can live in fear for THAT long?
We only have today, each of us. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. God bless you and your mom, and good luck with whatever decision she makes.
But then Mhillwt will be the one to have to take care of her mother if she contracts it again, and might end up contracting it again herself.
"Whether you test positive or negative for COVID-19 on a viral or an antibody test, you still should take steps to protect yourself and others.
We do not know how much protection (immunity) antibodies to the virus might provide against getting infected again. Confirmed and suspected cases of reinfection have been reported, but remain rare. Scientists are working to understand this."
If the 'experts' do not know, how can you know that your Mother is immune?
The wise conclusion would be to stay home at this time. If everyone cooperated instead of looking for exceptions for themselves, we could be safer from the spread of infection. You have the right to choose to stay home.
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