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What does your father say about your brother staying away since it is his property? If your father is still competent to make decisions then he can revoke the POA your brother has for him and he can also tell your brother not to come to his home. As for medicaid, you say your mother didn't pay into it only medicare. No one pays into medicaid and it is a federal program run by each state. Medicare is a health insurance program for seniors, whereas, medicaid is a program for the poor of any age. If your father is a veteran, does he qualify for aid and attendance or any other veteran health related benefits? I can understand you wanting your mother home, but do you really think you can manage to take care of two elderly people needing 24/7 care? You have your hands full taking care of your dad and dealing with brother issues. You cannot revoke a POA by any type of letter. Your parents can only revoke your brother's POA on them if they have not been declared incompetent. It is good that you can vent out your frustrtions here, but you cannot possibly juggle everything you wish to accomplish. You are trying to deal with a lot of legal issues in your quest that requires a reputable elder attorney to sort out this mess and money you do not have. I wish you luck.
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If I read this right, the brother has POA and a job and assets of his own. Mom & Dad have a USAF pension. Betty and "us" has no job, no credit and is living with Dad.
Betty,
You cannot block the POA from coming to the house.
You cannot be the Guardian either, with bad credit and no self-support.
You should have your caseworker find housing for you very soon, because the house will be sold, and you will have to leave it. So start planning.
Sorry you and bro do not get along, sorry you resent the housing and cars he gave you. The good news is that it will end very soon, you will be free to go.
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Sometimes I wish we could just forward these posts to the appropriate local APS office for an investigation. Oh well.
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Elder, sorry to repeat this, but you are a mess. The first thing you should do is get yourself to a doctor. You are rambling on, mixing up your apparent childhood illnesses with resentment of your brother and bankruptcy is a federal issue not for the state judiciary. You probably need some meds to calm you down, slow you down, and clear up your thinking. There is something just strange about talking how your dad can swim under water with his eyes open and connecting that to how he's looking around each morning for his wife. If that doesn't strike you as a strange comment you are probably not in any condition to be providing his care, much less you mom's care. Put on your own oxygen mask first, get to a doctor for a checkup and care for yourself first. You are going to stress yourself out and be of no help to anyone.
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Elder, I support VegasLady's advice and will add that it would take some time to read through your posts and factor out all the personal issues to get at the ones which only affect caregiving, which is the purpose of this forum.

It's clear that you and your brother have issues. But what are the specific ones on which you want advice?
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vegaslady :: The problem you have is ironic but some where you have a brain. My computer is one thing I cherish, its content and its management and I do not like anyone esp my brother using it for his purposes which is changing my cache with his loggin into his email when he has access to any email he wants on his iPhone. He does not want to communicate a\bout his mother, I was in the dark on the POA dealings and luckily I stumbled across the card of the lawyer he took them to so I contacted my own lawyer and told him that information. As for friendship I would not even invite him to go get a beer or to go out to eat even a McDonlad's simply because he feels he is better than all three of us and tends to his wifes' family matters more than ours going to the lake is more important to him than going to see his mother at the nursing home or going to talk to the doctor. If you think he is a nice guy your wrong, he nailed a million working for UPS going on training trips and even became a supervisor then for no reason except a argument with his boss he thinks he needs to take all his stock out and cash it in and live from a landscape business first then he switches his mindset to dream of a construction business which is a lands development project and he entered into a partnership with a friend for carpeting and appliances he used to supply the new home owners furnishings from out of till it bankrupted. He has experience mainly in bankruptcies, next his land development bankrupted because of the housing prices and no one wanted to buy million dollar homes they design and furnish so his UPS funds were then converted to his own self construction business and he has two other employees without building homes he simply repairs problems now. He said he could not drop his hat to come see his mother. Simply put, he paid for his son and daughter to go to college paid for a home for them to live in which he made us go there to help repair its bathroom walls before they both moved in and dumped two good for nothing vehicles on us, one for $300 transporting it here that was at its end of engine life from Mobile Alabama and the other for $100 which had to have a transmission, tires, replaced windshield, battery complete electrical reworked and a headliner. So if you think he has the better solution your mistaken, his wife use to sell Real Estate in Montgomery Alabama when he did landscaping on her own and that business fell in with employees doing what they wanted to do which ended up tearing up the only truck for landscaping he had and several power mowers so you can say it bankrupted. His ideology is for us to declare bankruptcy, however he did not realize that a USAF Service Member cannot declare bankruptcy else the State Judiciary will garnish his retirement check to pay it off before he ever sees the money ever again in his lifetime and $10,000 is not a small chunk of change so your surely wrong now. As for hoarding, I got a computer and I got a old car and one other vehicle father gave me which cost him $300 from the brother and I do not have money to hoard stuff, with his and my income combined living here and I am caregiver and cook and dish washer and nothing or nobody to the rest of the world is only $2,000 a month and our bills combined use most of that leaving me about $350 for groceries and four tank fulls of gasoline and a few bucks to go get fast food and I also feed my mother each day at the nursing home cause she has macular degeneration and is losing her eyesight to darkness. So your no help on this site, maybe your should get a idea and get lost quickly cause I don't give a damn how much money you got if you don't use it properly your not worth the salt. I chose not to indulge in a POA activity, I went to law school and passed business law, I also worked for the publisher of law books and read a lot, I also know that probat court wants $1,500 cash to revoke a POA and we do not have that unless I spend ever dime leaving nothing to auto pay the bills at the bank which is a idea I just came down with like the chicken pocks, measles, and mumps I once had all in a row as a kid having a 109 temperature. My brother would not approve my mother to go to the dentist and I mention it everyday and the administrators at Prattville Health & Rehab tell me, "Your not her sponsor so we cannot listen to you; so I reply I am her caregiver at her home address and I tend to all her medical situations so I know what is best for my mother and no one else does esp my brother whom won;t even look in her mouth to see the two chipped teeth she has which are putting holes in her upper tongue and lower tongue as she bites here cheek and tongue eating always. I am saying just that, she needs to be home with her husbands, and I have State Medicaid to pay her bill of nursing each day as promised by them they can but they cannot for the nursing home. My mother has a sister in Mundelein Illinois and she comes to see her about as much as my brother would twice a year. We talk about guardianship and I saw a lawyer about it but the probate court requires the POA to be dropped for me to be Guardian and to do that I have to revoke him and we have no money to pay the court. My mother did not pay into Medicaid when she worked she paid Medicare and she has Tricare. I checked with the Veterans Administration for her VA Benefits and they say things changed and if she has Tricare she cannot go to the VA at all and must go to a military hospital to apply her Tricare there and denied CHAMPVA to her. Without CHAMPVA I could not get her Dental Insurance which they provided two choices so that was out of the question, she was refused her VA Benefits which were from 50 years back, my father retired a USAF Staff Sergeant and makes less Social Security than my mother whom worked 25 years then retired with a broken hip that was replaced and he worked 20 years in the USAF as a cook, typist, File Clerk. I was told I have to report the abuse to the business they call Ombudsman which is located in Montgomery Alabama, I think I received a call from them on my cellphone. The "NO TRESPASS" would have to be doubled up for two counties requiring each a separate situation because there are two houses and properties and doubled up for my brothers' wife and his kids are also in line to be POA if for some reason he cannot be so this is a new question - How do I write a letter such that she and father signs and is witnessed to mail by certified mail to my brothers lawyer to revoke that POA he has over both of them? I know writing one individual would be easy but there are two and there is two properties and more than two that would be POA. I get confused on words. My father wants her home, he wakes up each morning looking for her like he is still sleeping and walking around which I think he can do normally cause he swam with his eyes open and dives with his eyes open. It woulld make more since I think to find a lawyer to write the letter for me and have him conduct the signing situation at the nursing home without the nursing home finding out and throwing us out of the building for conspiring against them, once the Certified letter is received and the lawyer acknowledges it authenticy he has no recourse than to contact my brother and deny his presence at the nursing home and we can then take her home where she needs to be for the end of her life if that be the issue comes sooner than we can get her medical attention for both her teeth and her slipped lower disk causing her spinal pain brother refuses to allow me to take her to the surgeon for his exam to determine how, when to do it.
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Well, you are a mess. It sounds to me like your brother is on the right path and you don't understand what's going on. First, when he comes over, it doesn't seem unusual at all to me for family members to access the fridge . Wouldn't you offer him something anyhow? What of yours is lying about for him to trample on? It sounds like maybe you are living in a messy, maybe hoarding, situation. About his suggesting that you quit paying her credit cards....good idea. Now, nursing homes are not in the business of stealing peoples checks. You sound very uninformed about how things work which is probably why you aren't the POA of choice. If volunteers are slow in delivering mom's food why don't you do it? Are you saying mom should be home so you can take care of two elderly people on your own. If your relatives are mentally competent they can change the POA. If not, you can go for guardianship, paying for that yourself of course. Why not ask for a new roommate if the current one is disturbing? If your mom is on Medicaid that is the welfare roll for health care, just dressed up in a nicer name. If you feel the care she is receiving is improper, report it to the licensing agency. As to your original question about getting a no trespassing court order, if I were you I would not go there. You are probably get more tangled up in confusion. What does your dad want?
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