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When our parents become children, we become the parents.
Usually, the key will fit in but won't turn so the engine won't start. When your parents complaint and ask why the car doesn't turn on, just tell them it's probably engine problem which needs the mechanic to look at, then have it towed.
Mechanic then tells your parents the problem can't be fixed. need new engine, or repair cost is more than the worth of the car, etc., Suggest they sell it right away to get the most money. If they wait till next year, the car will lose more value. Maybe they will go for the money.
Still he had his licence in his wallet and would point to that - and say "I can drive".
I had to put a copy of police letter on his refrigerator and in the car, so he would remember. Then I took all his keys - he had a number of them - and finally after a year or two he sold his car.
If there is any access to the vehicle itself it represents a temptation that is difficult for a dementia patent to resist.
If there is no POA you can try having a mechanic permanently disable the car and explaining to the driver that “it’s difficult to get parts, the part is no longer made, the repairman has to travel here to fix it, this car is on a waiting list, etc….”
Bottom line, tantrum or tears, so me one who has been determined NOT SAFE TO DRIVE CANNOT BE PERMITTED TO DRIVE, and there must be a responsible LO to take charge of making sure that driving doesn’t happen.
Another great idea: As mentioned earlier by our readers, have the vehicle (s) disabled, and change the auto keys so the driver cannot start the engine.
Mom still lived in our condo in 2012-13. I went through struggles with my 93-year-old mom as mentioned in previous forums. Doctors at Kaiser sent an unsafe report to the DMV, but Mom got very angry and insisted that she was still safe driving, despite my family's warnings. Fortunately, my mother could not use her walker to reach her car without my assistance. Furthermore, I kept her car parked in a remote visitor spot instead of our assigned parking for over one year, moving it to another space every 72 hours by myself. My vehicle was placed in our designated spot, and I did all the driving. When time came for her car's annual inspections, I got a $500 bill, did not have the work done, but drove back home and showed it to my mom and asked her if she was going to pay to have the broken steering wheel replaced fixed. She would not pay and sold the car without further arguments!
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