Some of you may recall my recent post of my mom with dementia wanting to take a “day trip” with a strange man from an online dating site.... That was the camel that broke the caregivers back and I managed to arrange for her to go stay with my brother and SIL in another state for a while. So now I hear that she is going around telling people my husband (who has been nothing but kind to her) called her lazy... which he did but it was part of a bigger ordeal and she is lazy and wants me to wait on her hand and foot while she lays around in dirty clothes watching tv and playing on her iPad all day...sigh...
on top of that she is telling SIL she is ready to come home to which SIL said I needed a longer break and didn’t she, mom replied she thought she could handle it!
Ugh! I guess I’m just venting here because I know there is really only one solution which is deal with it or put her in a NH.
I feel so betrayed and disrespected! I haven’t talked to my husband about this latest development. He has taken vacation for the week so we could try to relax and enjoy some couples time before she comes back.... and I hate to ruin it for him....
How is it possible for them to pull it together and seem like nothing is seriously wrong with them for a period of time? Unless you are with her for an extended period you would not even believe she has dementia... sometimes it feels like I’m the one losing my mind.
No, I wouldn't tell husband latest problem. Enjoy your "vacation".
What will be your next step?
My mother was very very jealous of me and felt very sorry for herself. We lived in a big, beautiful home. She told everyone who listened that it was “a barn” and she also told me. She told the maintenance guy at her apartment that she had no one to help her so could he help her move.
Decide where you want Mom to go. It should be a secure facility in case she decides to go “looking for love” again. She does need an evaluation. You could probably take her along on the tour, but she won’t be cooperative and will make everyone miserable.
Living with you or your brother was a privilege that Mom has abused one too many times. It won’t be easy, but for the sake of you, yiur brother and your spouses, you need to take this step.
She needs to be somewhere safe, supervised and secure.
Has she had a needs assessment?
She should not be living with you, that's for sure. Is SIL having the same issues with her as you were having?