How can I convince my father to shower and change his clothes at least every couple of days?

Some times as people get older they feel why bother with changing clothes or taking a shower, all they do is sit around the house. I bet if there was a senior center close by that you can take your Dad to visit, and he starts going there, in no time the showers will start happening :)

If you do Dad's laundry, grab the clothes he was wearing the day before, so that will force him to find something else to wear. Have a bedspread that is easy to wash as that will hold odors, too. I am using a small quilt on my bed, it's too small for the bed but is so easy to throw into the washer... I figure no one except myself will see the bedrooms.

If he has c-diff he's highly contagious. In fact, your dog may catch c-diff from your dad. You may even get it. If he is touching house surfaces, your home is at risk of spreading c-diff to anybody who visits--including children. He probably got it taking antibiotics. You really need to get him in a hospital especially if he is refusing to take care of his hygiene. He needs to be on antibiotics under a doctor's care to kill the c-diff--and hopefully it is not a resistant strain.

As a person who used to love showering, I now dread it and so does my sister. I am in my 70's. Showers don't feel good anymore. Try tub baths, and sink baths instead.

I went through something similar with my dad who also had C Diff. It is highly contagious and if not treated can cause serious issues. Please get your dad to the hospital for treatment.

Not drinking, c. diff and codeine...a recipe for dehydration, urinary tract infections and stomach upsets. Why is he on the codeine? What does your father say about his resistance to grooming and showering? Is he aware of the effect it has on others? And where is he at in relation to the Hep C diagnosis? Is he a carrier, have active disease? He is treading on a slippery slope. Yes, he needs treatment.

you know when you feel sick you don't want to do anything sometimes you have to drag yourself out of bed. He probably feels like crap, codeine has a sedative effect, he needs to go to the ER get blood work and treatment. God Bless

You can't let C-diff go. People can die from it. I agree -- get him to the hospital where he can get an entire workup, and tell them the problems you're having with him and his hygiene. They may offer some advice, or connect you with some great resources. But get him as healthy as possible first.

MsRandall, glad to read I am not alone. Also in my early 70's. I dread showers, too, but I hate tub baths even more. I rather spray myself down with Lysol :P I found using baby wipes is a good choice for a quick fix. I even use them on an elderly cat who can't wash, she doesn't mind the unscented ones.

I know as we creep up in age, there is always that fear of falling in the tub. Some folks also feel claustrophobic in a shower. I have glass doors and have to keep the back door opened.

You cannot make him or reason with him. Your dad is exactly like mine. One day, out of the blue, he took one because he could smelled himself. Take your dad to see doctor and let them talk directly to Dad. I know it's very difficult to reason with him. Warn him that you're going put him in the nursing home if he doesn't take showers. 😉

You never said if he still lives in his own place or with you. If he happens to live with you, you can set the rules. One of them would definitely have to be no dogs on the bed if you have a no pets on furniture policy. In fact, that's what dog beds are for, and in my opinion, pets should have their own beds and other pet furniture. This would be my policy along with frequent showers. I personally would not tolerate a stinky pet or a person living with me, that's what G.I. baths are for, (for people who won't clean themselves up any other way and this is the last option left). When the smell not only offense but threatens the health of others, it's time for a G.I. bath

I went through the same thing with my Father. Only my Dad would change his clothes but this didn't do much to solve the problem of odor. When you hear hind-sight is 20-20 know it is so very true. My father quite taking showers in his late 80's The reason why is he was so afraid that he would fall and that would be the end of him. It turned out to be true about 3-4 years later. He was with my brother and had coffee. They left to go to my Dads cabin approximately 140 miles away. My father who had suffered with Renal problems for several years had to urinate for most of the long trip. My brother ignored my Dad' request until it was practically to late. Once stopped my brother didn't get over to help my Dad out of the car in icy Mn. My father got out so fast because he didn't want to soil himself and sure enough sliped on the ice and broke or strained his shouled. This lead to hasten his passing at age 92. Now my Mother is in the same position. She is 93 and hadn't taken a shower in quite some time prior to myself getting very lucky and finding a strong, take no prisoners former CNA. When I say lucky trust me I don't believe in luck I do believe in the Hand of God. This woman who I will refer to her as W. Well my Mom and W hit it off from the start. She helps my Mom around the house and always seems to be doing something. On Mondays it's shower day. My Mom almost sounds like she is looking forward to Monday's. W is able to help my Mom though this because she couldn't shower by herself because of a major knee problem. You said you Dad was 79? which by today's standards is fairly young. Is he unable or unwilling. Has he ever given you the impression that he is afraid of falling. This is a hard thing for a proud man to admit. I hope in some small way my story has helped. Good Luck and never give up.

Someone on here mentioned a condition called C Diff. I never heard of it but when I looked it up it turns out to be an infection inside the colon. It's basically just an inflammation caused by bacteria from fecal matter. It's a very short term infection that can be cured just like any other infection.

The patient really needs to start drinking lots of water to help get rid of this or no medication will ever help him, and if he's going to refuse to drink water, it would be useless to give him any more antibiotics because the infection will keep coming back if he won't drink water. I actually lived through to appendicitis' and I can tell you for a fact that appendicitis doesn't necessarily need surgery. I lived through two of them and never had surgery. The infection was able to be treated at home under proper care. No thanks to my abusive parents, what caused my appendicitis is I wasn't allowed to relieve myself as I needed and I would have to hold it until I was allowed to go. This could've been prevented and so could this particular patient's infection. The sad part about this whole thing is so many internal infections are actually preventable, but too many people ignore or overlook preventive self-care and you wonder why so many people are dying much younger than they did in Bible days when those people lived well into several hundreds of years. Our modern diets are often very unhealthy let alone so many people not drinking enough water and bringing illness upon themselves when most illnesses can be prevented through proper self-care. I have known people in the medical field and even in the funeral industry and I can't even imagine what all of those people must be facing daily. As bad as you would really like to help people live better lives, you can only lead a horse to water but you can never make them drink it though you really would like to because the end results are very good. 

Christine73, G.I. bath is what they do to people in the military who won't shower. I have heard of multiple situations where trainees for starters have been ganged up by their dorm peers and they would actually pick up that person and put them in the shower and wash them down. In fact, I heard one particular such story from an elderly friend of mine who was in the military and he told me about one such guy in their unit and they had to do likewise with him. I strongly believe in G.I. bath when all else has failed but in the military, I've heard they don't wait. I don't recall how many times I've heard the same story before but I'm all for the G.I. bath when necessary. Believe it or not, I have even heard of nursing homes doing the same thing when patients won't shower. My foster dad had to be cleaned up because he wouldn't clean himself up.

What's a G.I. bath?

Here's a suggestion. Ask your dad if he will let you clean him up in bed. You do this by filling a basin with water and mild soap. I like Dove for sensitive skin, as does my gynecologist. Fill a washcloth with warm soapy water and clean him while he's sitting and lyiing down. Line the bed with peach pads first so the mattress doesn't get wet. Also, with an aging parent, a waterproof mattress pad is always a good idea. If he'll just let you do arms and underarms one day and legs and privates the next, do that. It's effective and a lot better than nothing. Feet are important. You can get 2 pink (they're usually pink for some reason) basins for any medical supply store and soak and wash his feet. It feels great, he would enjoy it and that would be a great start to doing his lower legs. It works for my mom. You can also clean and file his toenails while you're down there. Be careful about cutting because of the Hep C.

On a side note, I agree with others that your dad needs a once over by his primary care doctor. If he's not drinking, he could have some other issues going on that you really want to rule out. Good luck.

The loss of the ability to smell is one of the first signs of dementia. My husband can't smell himself -- I have to tell him to shower. He says he doesn't sweat, so how can he smell? But if I say something like "Phew! you REALLY need a bath!" he'll comply.
If he's further into dementia, use the barrier cloths they use in the hospital. They are bigger and sturdier than baby wipes. Your local pharmacist will either have them in stock or can order them for you.
As for the dogs -- he needs them for their comfort, and he can't smell them. We have two little dogs that sleep with us, but on a throw that is on top of the regular bedcovers. They cuddle against my husband and bring him more comfort than I can!

I am surprised he doesn't have severe dry mouth from 2 things-not drinking enough water and taking codeine. His teeth are going to end up with a bad infecton as well as his skin. Get him to the doctor as C-diff is very bad.

Water doesn't have to be plain - try lemonade, soft drinks, koolaid, tea [iced or hot] etc - so hide it - sit with him & share to make it a social thing - even if he watches a game show then it's 'lemonade with the price is right' & join him

Change those sheets more often too & check those blankets as well - if possible get tomorrow's clothes ready & switch them when he's sleeping - he probably won't notice except that what's in his pockets isn't there so be careful to move those items too

By the way, he's right sedentary people do not need a shower every day but minimum of 2 to 3 a week - SOMETIMES it is unwashed hair that is the issue so check that too - there are dry shampoos that can be a great help -

What I got out of reading these posts was that if it is severe enough, the c-diff, he could end up colon resection surgery. On the lack of smelling. This just happens when you get old. Your palate changes over the course of one's life, from birth to death. Age impacts the nerves also, from hearing, smelling, etc even without being diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment. These issues require two specialists. A gastrointestinal doctor that can perform a colonoscopy and a neurologist. Office visits to these doctors are much less costly than a hospital visit. The G.I. doctor can determine the extent of damage, and the neurologist can diagnose dementia. A primary will most likely be able to diagnose mild cognitive impairment but will want a second opinion with a specialist to confirm the extent of problems. Not Showering? Yea, its common more in males I think. The elderly does not like the cold water. The body temperature decreases often and does not maintain normal body temperatures due to a number of reasons: poor nutrition, less walking, sleeping more than 9 hours a day. If you are sleeping for 9-12 hours a day, who wants to take a shower. Eating and drinking fluids is the important thing. By the time 12 hours passes by, it's time for bed again, not showering. A lot of good posts above.

Clostridium difficile, otherwise know as "C diff" is not something that will go away on its own and because of the symptoms, can cause severe dehydration (among other things), which can lead to disorientation, malnutrition, and even death. An early post downplayed the severity of this illness and I am again urging you to get your dad to a hospital. It's not nicknamed "The Superbug" for no reason. When my dad had it, it came in with a vengeance 3 different times -- each causing him to become weaker. The hospital staff and visitors had to put on special gowns to enter his room (which was marked as "highly contagious" on the door). Don't mean to scare you, but don't downplay the potential severity if this disease -- and it's highly contagious nature.

Agreed. If it is life-threatening, just you hear at your doctor's office when you call them on the phone, call 911. They don't always take them to the hospital, but will if they see a clinical issue that needs to be checked out immediately.