i think steigmans advice is really good. might be more cost effective. if your mother needs round the clock bedside care try to convince dad that AL is the equivalent of hospitalization. noone would deny someone the need for hospitalization.
What about in home care for mom? It's cheaper than assisted living and they can stay together. Don't forget, the charge for Assisted Living is PER PERSON so if the facility is $3500 a month, it will be $7000 for both of them. Convince him that mom deserves to retire too, she has earned relief from cooking, laundry and general house work.
oh, thats much better..