I hope today's doctor visit helps clarify what is wrong. There are some medications that can help calm agitation. I hope this person had a living will so or at least you know how he or she feels about force feeding, etc. At 95, a person should be allowed to do what he or she chooses. The paranoia concerns me as that is miserable, and if that's the reason for not wanting to eat or sleep, then I do hope a doctor can order a medication (maybe a patch or shot) that will help calm the person. A nursing home should be able to help. Take care, Carol
yes nursing homes will take agitiated patients, does he or she suffer with dementia? does he or she have a living will? no one can make her eat or take fluids if she has made a living will that states she does not want to be force fed, my mom had that, are you mpoa, if you are then it is your choice whether to have a feeding tube placed if this person will not eat but at 95 years old I personally would not do this, when someone gets to the point of not sleeping eating or drinking, it usually means it won't be long before they go to be with our Lord. You may also call hospice if they have given this person a terminal illness diagnois or pallitive care. will keep you in my prayers
I asked the same question when visiting the memory care unit of the nursing home we are looking at for my mom when the time comes. The director told me that when patients are physically aggressive, they go to a hospital unit called Hope Haven where doctors can try medications and other things to help. I would start by asking some directors of memory care units about the procedure in your area, as this seems to be very common as dementia progresses. I just read a Hallmark card that talked about "A Circle of Friends" We all need to start gathering these friends around ourselves as we assist with our parents' needs. Hang in there!
Agencies are trained to care for all kinds of people. I have been with an agency for over 3 years who care for my husband who is basically very calm but does get fistey at times and threatens. They he says he is sorry. The caregiver knows how to redirect. I wish I had some of that calmness myself.
This is why a living will and a person with Medical Proxy is so important. To me, this sounds like a hospice patient but that is hard to know without advance directives.
Thanks eibunicom. Doctors say she doesn't have dementia, but I think she does. She does have depression, been severly depressed since my dad died 20 years ago and has wanted to die for all those years. For the last few years doesn't eat much and has lost 30 pounds over 2-3 years, 12 of that in the last 1 1/2 years. She says she does want to die and I think her reduced appetite and decreased fluid intake is because of that. She has no terminal illness and her doctor says her heart is still strong. She does have lots of other medical problems including labile blood pressure (although a heart doctor did get that under pretty good control with medications.) She has asked her heart doctor and her primary if she could go off all of her medications (she suffers from terrible dry mouth, although they say probably not from medications but from age and trigeminal nerve cut 25 years ago) but they say that wouldn't kill her, just prevents her from having a stroke or heart attack which would leave her in worst shape.
Doctors say agitation is from paranoia but without dementia. She believes a caretaker stole clothes from her closet (started with one pair but has now morphed into tons of pants, pant suits, dresses and replaced them with the caretakers "castoffs." Wants police, agency, and condo association and neighbors informed. Several weeks ago we went to family gathering and when we got back said caretaker had gotten into house and stolen more clothes while we were gone. Primary physician has prescribe .5 Haldol every 8 hours. Didn't work, primary wasn't in so associate said increase to 1 mg every 4 hours. Really helped. But next day I talked to her primary and she said .5 Haldol at bedtime, and .5 every 8 hours. Didn't work today as she was agitated not too long after waking up. (Agitation is always about calling police and talking to condo association and then lots of things to say about her children for not believing her.)
Siblings called a few nursing homes and homes said they wouldn't take her in while in an agitated state. It's a problem for us because we need to get her calm and she won't take medications while in the agitated state.
Summerdove, I have had my Mom over 5 years and that aggitation is just a stage. My Mothers neurologist prescribed depakote sprinkles and she was just amazingly calm on it. Each time I tried to wean her off she got aggitated again, until about 1 year. At first they get very tired but then that wears off and they are just calm. It was a lifesaver for us. We had to put high locks on all doors and even windows as she tried to leave also. Thats all over for us, been through it all and now she is happy as can be but cannot walk or barely talk. Still, shes my sweetie and my husband is so supportive. When I was still working I used moms SS to hire a 2 hour a morning caretaker. She came, got Mom dressed and to Daycare. My quiet Mom began to look forward to breakfast with the other people there and even thought she worked there. Good luck, tough to get old. PS If her husband was in the war, you can get an Aide&Attendent plan for her which is more money for caretaking for you, or Aides, clothing, etc.
My heart goes out to this woman with Paranoia! I had severe Panic and Anxiety for the entire 9 months of my pregnancy and everyone treated me as though I were crazy, when in reality it was brought on by hormones. After my first trimester I was put on medication for the remainder of my pregnancy and I made it through.
I think someone should look at the current medications she is on and see if any of them alone or in combination could be causing the Paranoia. This woman needs something to calm her down and allow her to sleep and her Paranoia may correct itself or at least improve. If it doesn't then at least medicate her for her own comfort, it is not fun feeling so out of control and afraid and it's continues to grow until everyone looks at you and considers you to be the crazy lady, when you are not.
One of my doctors spoke to me about my mother's condition and she told me that more doctors were leaning towards Pallative care, where the ill person or those in charge of their care can remove all medications and allow the person to live without assistance and pass away without interference. She stated that many doctors were dealing with families that wanted to keep "grandma alive at all cost" and they would have them "shocked back to life" 5 or 10 times when there was no way that this person would ever recover and the doctors wanted to see their patients be able to die with some dignity.
At 95 years of age and her husband passed away 20 years ago, she has no reason left in her life to live. My mother is 84 and is the same way, she lost her husband of 60 years about 7 years ago and all she is waiting for is to die and she verbalizes that repeatedly. The ONLY place she will going willingly is to the cemetery to place flowers on her family's graves. She completely gave up on life when my father died.
It is very sad that people like this 95 year old woman and my mother could not give their remaining years to people who are fighting with horrible illnesses who desperately want to live, but that is not possible so we need to at least make them as comfortable as possible until they do pass.
I truly hope this woman gets some relief from the Paranoia so she can at least life the last moments of her life in peace.
God Bless her and be with her in her time of need!
My mother may also have some paranoia and anxiety agitations. She lives in a board-and-care, and last week after my out-of-state family took us all out to get her nails done and to enjoy lunch, Mom refused to go back into the CARE HOME. She wanted to go back to "OUR Residence instead or live on the street!! She yelled at everyone and screamed, and got mad at the staff, too, and they and the Care Manager had to call the cops to talk with her to calm her down and make some sense! Her primary care doctor ordered some stronger sleep medications to please quiet Mom and so she may sleep better, also (with Love)!
My mother does have a living will. No force feeding and no machines.
We would never do that to her. Back in the early 90s, my dad's cousin was in a nursing home dying with breast cancer. She had been living to take care of her husband who had heart disease when he dropped dead of a heart attack. H
Take care,
Carol
Doctors say agitation is from paranoia but without dementia. She believes a caretaker stole clothes from her closet (started with one pair but has now morphed into tons of pants, pant suits, dresses and replaced them with the caretakers "castoffs." Wants police, agency, and condo association and neighbors informed. Several weeks ago we went to family gathering and when we got back said caretaker had gotten into house and stolen more clothes while we were gone. Primary physician has prescribe .5 Haldol every 8 hours. Didn't work, primary wasn't in so associate said increase to 1 mg every 4 hours. Really helped. But next day I talked to her primary and she said .5 Haldol at bedtime, and .5 every 8 hours. Didn't work today as she was agitated not too long after waking up. (Agitation is always about calling police and talking to condo association and then lots of things to say about her children for not believing her.)
Siblings called a few nursing homes and homes said they wouldn't take her in while in an agitated state. It's a problem for us because we need to get her calm and she won't take medications while in the agitated state.
PS If her husband was in the war, you can get an Aide&Attendent plan for her which is more money for caretaking for you, or Aides, clothing, etc.
I think someone should look at the current medications she is on and see if any of them alone or in combination could be causing the Paranoia. This woman needs something to calm her down and allow her to sleep and her Paranoia may correct itself or at least improve. If it doesn't then at least medicate her for her own comfort, it is not fun feeling so out of control and afraid and it's continues to grow until everyone looks at you and considers you to be the crazy lady, when you are not.
One of my doctors spoke to me about my mother's condition and she told me that more doctors were leaning towards Pallative care, where the ill person or those in charge of their care can remove all medications and allow the person to live without assistance and pass away without interference. She stated that many doctors were dealing with families that wanted to keep "grandma alive at all cost" and they would have them "shocked back to life" 5 or 10 times when there was no way that this person would ever recover and the doctors wanted to see their patients be able to die with some dignity.
At 95 years of age and her husband passed away 20 years ago, she has no reason left in her life to live. My mother is 84 and is the same way, she lost her husband of 60 years about 7 years ago and all she is waiting for is to die and she verbalizes that repeatedly. The ONLY place she will going willingly is to the cemetery to place flowers on her family's graves. She completely gave up on life when my father died.
It is very sad that people like this 95 year old woman and my mother could not give their remaining years to people who are fighting with horrible illnesses who desperately want to live, but that is not possible so we need to at least make them as comfortable as possible until they do pass.
I truly hope this woman gets some relief from the Paranoia so she can at least life the last moments of her life in peace.
God Bless her and be with her in her time of need!
We would never do that to her. Back in the early 90s, my dad's cousin was in a nursing home dying with breast cancer. She had been living to take care of her husband who had heart disease when he dropped dead of a heart attack. H
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