How can I control my wife with dementia?

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My wife has mid/late stage dementia. She drives me crazy moving stuff in the house, I am constantly spending hours looking for stuff. I can't lock everything up. I would be constantly locking and unlocking. Today she filled a pan with water and dumped it on the TV. I disconnect the oven/stove but I can't disconnect the water. I was thinking of those hospital mitts so she can't pick up stuff - any comments? Also how do I keep her in bed at night? If she wakes in the middle of the night she immediately gets out of bed and goes about doing things. If I could get her to stay in bed I think she would just go back to sleep.

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warren631: Simple answer=you cannot continue to care for your wife at home! Find alternative measures!
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Warren,it sounds as if your wife is trying to be helpful and to regain some sense of the ability to organize that is rapidly slipping away. Is she able to stay on task? You might try engaging her in specific activities that would keep her occupied for awhile. Jigsaw puzzle (one with not a lot of pieces), folding laundry, watering plants (instead of the TV!), writing postcards or greeting cards to family & friends, etc. Praise her for her efforts, because unlike a toddler who is learning appropriate behavior, dementia works in reverse. She will never again understand why pouring water on an electrical device is dangerous.

I agree with others who recommend looking into a care facility, because the bitter truth is that day is coming when you will no longer be able to safely care for her, and in fact it may already have arrived. Certainly you should at least hire a caregiver to give you a few hours of relief several days a week or whatever you can afford. God bless. We're all rooting for you!
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Millie that sounds like a wonderful idea, I have never heard of that. The biggest thing most caregivers complain of is lack of sleep.
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We have a facility near us that is strictly and overnight facility for dementia folks who don't sleep. They will pick them up and bring them home so the caregiver can get a good nights sleep. The cost is less than most good hotels. You might investigate and see if there is anything like this near you. It can be a blessing.
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Wanting to keep someone at home is great.
They do better, are engaged more, are healthier and live longer.
I have always said " I will keep my husband at home as long as I can SAFELY care for him" by safely I meant his safety as well as mine.
It sounds like it is not safe for you to keep her at home unless you have someone that can watch her at night.
Unless medication can help it sounds like it is time that you look for a place that will be able to care for her 24/7.
Placing her in a Memory Care facility will allow you to become her Husband first, caregiver second. YOU will be more relaxed and she probably will as well. I have found that when I am stressed or others around my husband are stressed he picks up on that. I can only imagine your wife is picking up on the stress that you feel and that can make her act out more. (just as a child does when they get angry then throw a temper tantrum)
Not all situations are the same and not all plans work the way you want them to and as much as you want to keep her at home it might be time.
Another option would be to place her for Respite so you can get a break
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cetude, yes, we walk around the park almost every day or the Mall if its too hot. I just have to watch she doesn't fall. A broken hip is the last thing we need. She wet the bed last night for first time. I know she felt very bad about it. When she can say a few words she says she is doing her best. I tell her its not her fault. I had a plastic sheet over the mattress so I just have to wash her and the sheets. I will try the cocoa. Thanks.
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Even as a nurse, my husband displays most of your wife's habits, however short of tying her up so you can sleep (do not do this!), better start thinking of alternatives for where she can live. There are group homes (a private home which allows ten people), or a facility with memory care. Staff is awake at night to handle dementia persons who wander. Their biological clock is off due to the dementia, so do not blame your wife for her condition. Yes, it is very taxing to be a caregiver, so I suggest a support group where you can hear others stories, and yes, you could turn off the water at a house turn on-off handle. It is found at the front or back of you house. If you have gas those need to be disconnected. Take the knobs off an electrical stove and mainly use a microwave for cooking dinners. Also ask her doctor if he/she can prescribe a tiny muscle relaxant. Don't give antihistamines like Benadryl because her memory will be even more affected. Do the best you can Warren, and when it gets too much for you, let professionals take over. There is no shame in asking for help, and I am so very glad you found this website to vent your concerns and frustrations. I am with you 100% percent! This illness will not last forever and soon her symptoms will fade, she will not remember you, won't be able to speak or move and then death follows. So love her for the time she has left and try to see some humor in the things she does. My husband started using the wastebasket in the bathroom to deposit his toilet paper. It smelled. Then we recently moved to a much smaller apt., I put the wastebasket in the cabinet below the sink, and now he puts the paper in the toilet. Try creative thinking about where to put objects so she won't move them, and know her mind is trying its best to get "organized", and doesn't know why she get scolded for "helping" you. My husband was very organized, could fly and take apart a B-747, so one can only imagine how his brain is trying to organize things. All I can do is tell him to stop trying to "help" me, and give him little jobs I know he can handle. Keep your wife busy. She is doing the best she can with what brain power she has left. My prayers are with you!
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very good suggestions.
Address these behavior with her.doctor and the stressors.causing with you.
LadyMiller
Hope you have psychiatrist.
Since you state dr does not want her in nsghome. I assume you have asked about placement for her.
Does the doctor have a legitimate reason for insisting on you and your family to suffer abuse? You said she verbally abused your daughter. I hope she is an adult. Sorry, but this scenario is not example and inappropiate to raise a child in. Enviroment only to teach a child to be a subject of abuse.
Has the subject of treatment inpatient behavior modification. Bless you. But, personally disorder or not. Psychological abuse results in longstanding detramental self images.
Pray for you.
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PS if my mom starts getting restless during the day I will walk her again. It rarely happens but sometimes it does and yes she will be walking in the park a second time. When done, the wandering and doing crazy repetitive things will stop. I would also like to say she very rarely falls now. She used to fall weekly. Sometimes twice a week. Walking really helps! But walking her once a day is sufficient. If the weather is bad, I will take her to the mall and we do our walking there. I have a pedometer so I know the distance she can tolerate and when to head back to the car.
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when I first exercised my mom she could only walk about a half block..gradually building up her resistance and about a year later she's up to close to a half mile a day with her walker. We go in the park every morning and do this. She really enjoys it too.
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