Follow
Share

I have health problems too. My mum of 83 recently had accident which the ball joint fractured through the socket of r/pelvis the cup had slipped years ago on her hip replacement, walking limited accident happened on 19/9/14, came home after 3 weeks in hospital, only home a week when she made me ill had break down in docs surgery, he came to see her told her it's either hospital or care home, she went in hospital, been in 1 month, now being given my orders by her hospital consultant that I have to remove all my crafting items which are electrical & cost a fortune to save for, I have cared for mum for over 20 yrs, but here in UK that does not count for anything, & to add to this she going to have carers 4 times a day & has mental health issues, bed downstairs + a commode in a small living room where we eat are food at a small dining table.
I am so stressed, told persons are Docs they not happy, friend rang and they are trying to say I agreed to her coming home, yes if she could get upstairs not bed in living room. I know this sounds hard I will tell them If she comes home bed in living room etc even for 2 weeks we all know that Housing Associations are not going to move that fast now it just a month from Christmas. if the carer's want to look after her then that's going to included everything..Shopping feeding her, washing her( walk in shower is up stairs), NO washing machine to do her washing and they can cook/ clean the room as well, & I will not be getting up during the night to come downstairs for her to go to toilet etc
I have Severe Chronic Asthma, Diabetic, Fibromyalgia, Arthritis & balance & hard of hearing & other problems etc.. so if the cold kills me what she going to do then. she will end up in a nursing home, do I have grounds to use her POA for Health, already using POA for finances.. HELP HELP need urgently

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

17 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
You need to make the decision to put mom in a nursing home if you are unwilling to let her stay in the (warm) downstairs of the house. I will be completely honest with you, the fact that you even consider putting her in an area of the house that you would not willingly spend time in yourself is frightening.

Do the right thing for your mom and find a suitable nursing home for her immediately.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
I'm confused. You don't want to be upstairs in the cold doing crafts, but you do want your mum there? I got lost on the way you wrote this. If you don't want to move your things and you don't want to provide any care, maybe it is time to consider a care home. Is it your house? or would you need to move? I couldn't sort out what you were saying, other than you were upset about having your mum downstairs and you upstairs.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
Your mother needs (and deserves) better care than what you are able to provide (no offense intended, just saying you do not appear in the best position to care for her). You need to call back the doctor that recommended a nursing home and put her there. She needs round-the-clock care and watching, and it does not appear that you are able to provide that. Do yourself and your mom a favor and make that move immediately.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
The stairs and the chairlift are *not* the issue here. The issue is that you even think that putting Mom upstairs where, in your words, it's cold and unpleasant.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
Another option is to turn the heat on upstairs. After all, heat does rise. Upstairs usually stays warmer than downstairs if the heat is on.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
Why didn't you choose a care home?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Call up her doctor and the consultant and tell them that you are unable to care for her; she needs to go to a care hone. Them please get yourself help for your physical and mental health.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
You are both ill. One of you needs to move to Assisted Living. You decide which one.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Glad the doctor said that. I hope you can find a good nursing facility for her.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
You " will not be getting up" to help her? And it is HER house? If you were my daughter, I would throw your axx to the curb, and set my bed in the living room, voila!! You have no idea how good you have it.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter