Hi! I need some ideas! My 87 year old Father and 92 year old MIL live with me, my husband and our ten year old son. I am a Professor at a local community college, and I often have to bring work home. There's no time clock for my job. Additionally I have ADD, and I can be VERY distractable.
When I am home, Dad's caregivers want to visit, discuss politics, talk about what they had for dinner, arguments with spouses, boyfriends, strangers in the parking lot at the mall-anything that comes into their heads. While these personality characteristics can very great for entertaining an elderly parent, it wears me out!
Example: I had several projects due yesterday, meetings to prepare for, laundry to get done. And Dad's caregiver followed me down the hall to my bedroom, followed me into the laundry room, stood next to me while I fixed my lunch wanting to discuss the attack at the Boston Marathon. While I was on the computer, trying to email a colleague at work, she was talking about meeting up with someone for a date. I said, "______, I'm working, " and she stopped talking for about one minute, then started up again. I finally just refused to answer.
They also ask me questions about duties that they perform routinely every day. For instance, "It's Monday, should I change your Dad's sheets on his bed?" Answer: "Don't you do that every Monday? It's in your job description."
Why are they asking? It make me wonder sometimes what they do when I'm not at home.
I think anyone who seriously chooses to care for the elderly is an Angel and a gift from Heaven. My Dad's caregivers think it's a religious calling. I am lucky, because these women are dedicated, punctual, and take great care of my folks. They are also easily miffed and insulted when I or someone else suggests improvements in their work.
And when I come home from work, I am often met with a greeting committee with a list of requests or issues. Sometimes I haven't even put my purse away!
While my house is a workplace, and it is my home, it is not a sanctuary. I often feel as if I've left one public arena (work) and entered another one, which is my house.
Why do I deal with this? I don't want to lose my temper and insult these people. I worry that I will say or do something impulsive that I will regret later. I often dread coming home and wish I could stay at work.
I feel like I am ranting a bit, but I am hopeful some of you can help me put things in perspective!