My mother is sneaking in and using my expensive face cream. Should I confront her or hide it so she knows that I know?

Got to hide it or live with it.

My mom got into ALL of my makeup and creams, etc. Expensive brushes, the whole deal. it got so I didn't have any makeup and when I tried to brush on some powder one day, the brushes were greasy and useless.

To my mom, my makeup was a big toybox so I just let it all go. She had a blast with it all and I just stopped wearing makeup and worrying about it.

I know that may not be an option for you, but your mom is experiencing dementia and she's going to do what she wants and you have to either stage the area (hide stuff, leave cool, safe stuff out so she has some 'toys') or have arguments about it.

There is no right or wrong here and believe me I know it's annoying but you're not going to win this one so you can make it easier on both of you by realizing that there is no 'teaching', there is no 'reasoning', there is no 'sanity'; there's only a lady with a brain disease who wants to play in your makeup and cream.

I was lucky early on with my mom to have a doc say to me when I was griping: What do you want?!? She's Demented!.

Oh. ok, I get it.

Mom played with 600 bucks of Estee Lauder for a long time. I figured that I certainly got my money's worth every time I would 'catch' mom in the makeup and having a ball.
ehh, so what?

Think about training a dog. When you learn how to train a dog what you are actually learning is how to train yourself to communicate with the dog. In this case you are going to have to train yourself to cope with dementia and the myriad of symptoms it presents, one of which is to play in your daughter's makeup/creams/ointments and then deny it!

Drive you crazy? You bet! if you let it.

Good Luck kiddo and know that everybody here is in your corner!

lovbob

Is your Mom using a LOT of the cream? Couldn't you just let her use it, and tell her she has to use it sparingly, because it's expensive. Maybe it's a small feeling of luxury to her, and makes her feel special to use it. Maybe she thinks it makes your face look so wonderful, and it will help her face look better as well. Seems like it would be worth it to allow her to use it. Something to think about, anyway. :) Best wishes.

get an old jar and put the generic stuff in it...then set it out for her to use at will
:o)

Hey Stuck,

I could be totally wrong but I wonder if your annoyance at your mom also has to do with a loss of your "private space". She's kind of invaded your personal territory and you have no control over it since you're not there. It would be like a parent reading your diary and then denying it when you could tell he/she'd been in it.

If that's the case, I think that's totally understandable! That's one thing that we as caregivers give up...along with a lot of other things. Maybe finding some additional private space where you can have things that your mom doesn't have access to will help you maintain your sense of independence and personal space.

Blannie1 may have hit the nail right on the head when she asked if Mom using the cream isn't more about her invading personal territory than anything else. If so, then that presents another question that needs solving. But if it is JUST about the face cream, then I'd say buy Mom a tube of the cream and make a gift of it. And after that, when that tube is empty and if she can afford it, ask her for the money and tell her you will pick up another tube. If she can't afford it, maybe you can give her another one. But is there more to this problem than is being acknowledged?

Stuck - when my mom moved in with me (way before she was diagnosed with Alz), I would wake up to find her in my bedroom. She was just watching me. Now I think that maybe she was thinking back to when I was a child and checked on me at night. Either way, she was in my room, which was my only personal space left (I went from living alone and having a whole house to myself to only having my room).

There are two doors to my room. For some reason, she would only use one of them. The one with the lock. I started locking the door and she stopped coming in. I don't care that I had to lock my door - it helped me sleep better knowing I wouldn't wake up and have her watching me.

Now, several months later, I no longer lock the door. She has lost interest. While I'm glad, I am also saddened. There are several things that mom used to do that annoyed me. But now that she has stopped, I miss them because it shows she is losing interest in things.

Protect your privacy - it is important. But don't be surprised if you miss your mom stealing your face cream when she stops. At least right now she is still interested in trying to take care of herself.

Take care.

its all good . buy her a tube that looks like yours and let her enjoy it . it makes her feel like a woman . lalala
my step mom wore make up for years and when she got worst on alz , whoa what a face !!! she looked like a clown ! it made her feel so pretty and thinks shes done wonderful . yeah u look great !!! shes happy and im happy .

That is soooo true! It is my personal stuff and I feel she should respect SOME personal space. It is an invasion of my space...It won't change though..she goes in our bedroom and sniffs around....so I just hide my good stuff. I'm over it now...but thoses thoughts are RIGHT ON!

Stuck, I certainly wouldn't want someone snooping in my bedroom either. I can see why it would bother anyone. I suppose it would be a nuisance to put an extra lock on your bedroom door so that when your mother is in the house alone, she can't get into that room? I admit I would find it annoying to always have to have the key with me to lock or unlock my own bedroom door but it WOULD help with the privacy idea. Just a thought but it may not be worth much.

I have thought about that...trust me. But why should I have to lock MY door? She is the pupritrator and I am put out by her actions. Just p....... me of. We may end up putting a lock on the door...man what a life!!!!