Hi all. This will be a long post, I'm afraid. So, I have an interesting situation currently. My mother was denied for Medicaid in Mississippi, and I had to move her here (Alabama). Those two months she was here - well, they were horrible. I have young children, one of whom has autism (he did NOT deal well with the stress when she was here and has finally recovered from it). She had a fall getting into bed and we found her on the floor the next morning - didn't hear a thing overnight. Took her to ER, then she was in the regular hospital for a week, then geri-psych for a little over a week. Now, she is in a nursing facility, as she needs skilled care - more than I can provide. It kills me to say that, but it's what needed to happen.
All of that said, now we are trying to apply for Medicaid. The issue is, my dad still lives in MS, and he ALSO has dementia (vascular). My stepbrother had power of attorney over both of them (he is NOT her biological child, I am), but I managed to get POA over my mom only (thank goodness). The issue is that I need everything finance and asset related for my dad, and either stepbro is being difficult, or Dad doesn't remember why he spent money on something, or why he took out a loan. He has completely forgotten those details and we don't have any records. Stepbro says the bank took him off all of the bank accounts and blames ME because I got POA over Mom and says bank won't let him access anything. I don't understand why they'd be denying him access now due to ME getting power of attorney over my mom and not both parents. It's so confusing and sometimes I feel like he's just brushing me off because he doesn't want to deal with it anymore.
It all boils down to - my mom needs Medicaid. Dad got them into a mess financially - lots of debt and now they basically don't have any assets except one car (which neither can drive). There are life insurance policies my dad took out, and my mom is the beneficiary - he took these out and borrowed against them for years. :( Medicaid will declare her ineligible if beneficiary isn't changed.
I am just so worried, because if I can't get all of the information needed related to my dad's affairs, my MOM (once again) will suffer and honestly, I don't know what we'll do. Anyone have a similar situation where you are unable to get spousal info for Medicaid? Any ideas?
I'm sorry for the long post - I hope it sort of made sense. Thanks all. Blessings to all of you dealing with the issues that come with aging parents.
DollyMe has some knowledge of estate management and might have some legal nohow on this; hope any others here will have advice because about the only advice I have is that you get a lawyer. As to the brother, if you two cannot work together for your parents this is going to be a worse mess than a beehive hit with a stick.