Follow
Share

Their POA hasn't called in months. I have become their caretaker by default. I came to visit for a few days after not having been in several years. I had spent the last few years taking care of my husband who had dementia until he passed away, and discovered their caretaker was stealing from them. She packed and moved out within days and now I feel stuck. I've been here 6 months and every second of every day is consumed with meeting their needs. My aunt has convinced herself that she took me in as if I was homeless, even though I actually was on my way too spend the summer on Hatteras island and gave up a deposit, as well as a good job. So when her PC doc mentioned compensation she thinks the fact she " gave" me a place to live is compensation enough. She has a POA in place but the woman only came for one night back in March. I haven't seen her since then and she doesn't return my calls. The few times I've mentioned taking over as POA she says we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. And I'm starting to panic because I can already see the shoreline... She gets so angry when I bring it up and her elder attorney won't speak to me and she " doesn't want to bother him"

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
As CM says, you need to make your plans to leave and stick to them.

You are indeed SUPERNEICE; it's time to get back to your own life. Aunt clearly doesn't understand what level of need they have and that people need to make a living so that they can save for THEIR retirements.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

It may seem a bit heartless, but you're going to have to make your plans to move on and tell your aunt what they are. She can then either make you a better offer, or find - if she can - someone else who will provide her with all the support you have been giving for no compensation other than room or board, and good luck with that.

I agree that it would be a good idea meanwhile to get APS on board and in particular tell them about the POA's failure to do her job. Maybe a call from them might concentrate her mind a little?

But in any case, unless you especially want to spend the next few years repeating the experience you've already gone through with your husband (and I'm very sorry both for your loss and for what this must have been like for you), retrace your steps and prepare to pick up your own life again. You intervened when your aunt and uncle most needed you and you owe them nothing more.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Unless your aunt and uncle are able to and so give you POA, you can't take over as POA. For you to be paid, you would need a signed contract with them stating that they will pay you ___ for doing the following services ____. If the POA gives you money without such a contract and either or both of them need medicaid at some point, such money will be viewed as a gift and not as a payment for services.

I think that you need to contact adult protective services and explain your situation plus what you have already lost plus ask them for advice. I would tell them and the POA that you can't keep doing this and tell them how many days it will be before you leave for otherwise you are their slave.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter