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My mother passed away two weeks ago. I am a co-executor as well. Mother's well doesn't mention any of the gifts he has made. He says mother told him to do it. The money and jewelry all went to his old girl friends and people that work for him now or use to. Mother never told me about these gifts and we talked about everything right up to her death. I saw this co-executor nearly every day for the last 8 months when mother was in and out of the hospital and he never mentioned any of this to me either until he says the gifts were all made. There is nothing in writing that I know of either. Mother's will was really simple. All of her property was to be split evenly between my brother, my son, and my self.

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Wills typically require that expenses of a last illness be made before disposition of assets. These gifts, if valuable, should probably have been sold unless there are sufficient funds otherwise to pay any last expenses. I think your brother, if he is the co-executor, is jumping the gun on distribution of assets.

Who's handling any asset inventory?
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The brother should be asked to return the assets and distribute things in accordance with what is written in the will. An executor is bound by the will itself and cannot use his imagination about what to do with the assets.
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Thank you for the two answers. The co-executor is not my brother. He is a younger friend of my mother's, not that it matters. So, I have already asked that these "gifts" be returned. One person did return the jewelry she received. I saw to it that his jewelry is being held by a trusted friend who was my7 mother's attorney. I am trying to pull together an inventory and will be meeting with a probate attorney tomorrow. What is my recourse if the gifts are not willingly returned? Is this fraud?
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Is this jewellery incredibly valuable? Does in make up a large portion of the value of the estate? Unless the answer is yes to both I really think you are being a little overly obsessive about this. If the items are valuable then I suppose the easiest way to deal with it is to subtract the value from the inheritance payed out to the misguided brother.
Lots of people make bequests that they don't formally include in their wills. Sometimes it can be as simple as telling someone that they may have an item "someday", often for as little a reason as they admired it. Sometimes people laboriously label every knickknack with the intended recipient's name. And sometimes families squabble over every penny, switching labels and hauling off truckloads of possessions they haven't any use for just to keep someone else from having it.
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Brothermurf, I see the situation is a bit trickier than I originally thought. It may be that your mother did tell her friend to give the jewelry to certain people. We don't know. No, it isn't fraud unless he did something underhanded to get access to your mother's estate. We don't know if that happened. The co-executors will have to work together to execute the will the way your mother intended.
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Actually a will has to be executed according to the terms of the will. Your mother could have told him that to get their inheritance all the children had to wear yellow frocks down town but unless it is in the will it aint gonna happen (frivolous I know but you get my drift).

The issue of the jewellery is probably not about the value of it - it may have a substantial emotional attachment - a cheap locket with hair of your only child may have great significance to you but not to anyone else whereas a diamond held in a bank may have considerable monetary value and may have no emotional tie at all.

And that is why the terms of the will have to be adhered to UNLESS SHE HAD IT WRITTEN AS A CODICIL, in which case it becomes part of the will I suggest you google probate for dummies where it explains that as GA said that as part of the probate process expenses have to be handled first before distribution of assets
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Ah yes, The Stuff! It's amazing the amount of squabbling that can happen over The Stuff. I find myself in a somewhat unique position in that I never have cared much about the stuff. I think it's partially because my son is severly disabled and my only child / I have no one to pass family heirloom down to. My mother put in her will that I was to get her jewelry but mom had very little jewelry of value and all but her wedding ring - she has already given me over the years. When my dad passed I took his wedding ring - mom didn't want it and since daddy had never taken it off in 62 years, it was something that makes me feel his presence- I wear it on my right hand. Also there was an award winning photo- large and nicely framed of my father taken in the early 1950's, atop Mt. Hood at sunrise, daddy in profile silhouette, wearing full mountaineer garb. It's a stunningly beautiful photo and everyone wanted it. Unbeknownst to me, my father had written on the back of it, twenty years ago - that I was to have it upon his death. It has amazing sentimental value to me and after making sure my hubby and son were out, it is the thing I would grab to take out in the case of a fire. Soooo - my point? Before making an issue of this with your brother - ask yourself why you want the stuff back. If it's because it has great sentimental value to you or it's something you'd like to see handed down to your son - go for it. Get an attorney to send a letter to your brother saving if the items aren't returned it will be considered theft. Also - perhaps there is a way to hold brothers final inheritance until the things are returned - that ought to do it, right? But if you want the stuff back because brother over-stepped, didn't have the authority or other reasons along those lines - let it go. In the end will pursuing The Stuff be worth all the hard feelings it's likely to create?
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The co-executor isn't his brother. It is a younger friend of his mother's. We don't know if the co-executor is an heir, only that he has given some of the jewelry to people fairly quickly.
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Whether fraud has been committed depends on the terms and specific bequests of the will. The friend's action may rise to the level of breach of fiduciary capacity though. Raise that with the attorney tomorrow.

Regardless, I think this person has acted in very poor taste and you deserve an explanation. The two of you should be working together; that other person needs to recognize that and get on board and learn how to work as a team.
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Please clarify- you mentioned one woman returned an item and go on to say "his" jewelry is being held by your mothers attorney. Who is "he"? The coexecutor? If "he" is not your brother, why is it "his" jewelry? And if it is not your brother, even if the coexecutor was a close friend of your mothers, why would your mom want pieces of her jewelry given to his friends - what is the connection of his lady friends to your mom - that he could offer any plausible reason that your mom would want these ladies to have her jewelry? What is he saying about that? There has to be more to it for this to make even the slightest bit of sense.
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You are on the right track, go to court, have him removed and the judge will order him to recover said items. Be sure you have an inventory with market value of these items.
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The more I think about this the more I think a piece of the story is missing. How did the co-executor get his hands on the jewelry to give away - the same holds true for your moms money. Did he have his name on her bank accounts? Banks won't release money in the case of death otherwise- they need probate information before they will hand over the cash. Also - you said you saw him nearly everyday for eight months as your mom was in/out of the hospital. That seems a little unusual for just a friend. What's up?
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RM, you raise an issue that hasn't been discussed this far...the apparent consistent contact between the two co-executors, with no discussion of the OP's role, how the responsibilities were split, and similar issues.
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The co-executor is not my brother. "His jewelry" should say "this jewelry". The connection to these people who received"gifts" is that the co-executor brought them around my mother and friendly relations developed. The jewelry is family legacy and it's worth about $300k. Yes, this is a very big deal to me. My brother is to receive a third of mother's property as is my son. The estate is worth about a million dollars, except that the co-executor has given away about 40% of it!
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Garden, Rain, Pam, and all other contributors: YOU ALL ROCK!!! What a wealth of knowledge and experience!!!
I am in awe!

M88
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Brother- how did the co-exec come to have possession of such valuable jewelry- did he take it from your mother while she was alive? Also - the cash you said he's been giving away - was he able to get your mother to put him on her account / how did he get access to it? You may have grounds for criminal charges.
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And - how is it that as a "younger friend" he seems to have been very close to your mother - spending an awful lot of time with her if you saw him so much. A scam from the start maybe?
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Brother, based on your last post, I think giving away that much of the estate, IF the last expenses haven't been settled, and IF the heirs haven't received their shares, would be fiduciary mismanagement. Definitely raise this with the attorney as soon as you meet with her or him.

I also have the same question as RM - how did this person gain access to such valuable jewelry? I would think they would have been locked in a safe in your mother's home, or in a safety deposit box. And how did you become aware of these acts, how long have you known about it, and what have you done to stop him? Have you considered an injunction?

Something's amiss here.

Mulatta, aw, shucks! I'm just sharing what I learned over the years.
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Brother - just thought about this...I don't know about the state where your mom lived - but here when a will goes through probate, the executor is automatically granted 2% of the total value of the estate by the judge as payment for their service. If one wishes to not be paid this money, they need to put that in writting and submit it to the judge. Given the figure you quoted for your moms estate and as he is a "co" - 1% still comes to $10,000. If this guy is up to no good and/or has unethical motives and actions you may want to further pursue this matter with your attorney.
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The co-executor had signing authority so he could help mother pay bills and maintain rental property. He also had a key to her safety deposit box which he told me he cleaned out. Mother trusted him.
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I was picturing a few trinkets, this man has definitely overstepped his authority!! As GA says, speak to your lawyer immediately, see what you need to do to have him held accountable. Perhaps he himself will be motivated to beg his friends for the return of the jewellery when faced with jail time!
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For further discussion and explanation- This co-executor is a man that is 6 years younger than I am and I am 63 years old. Mother was 86 when she passed. This guy was a friend of my younger brother who passed away when he was 36. This guys parents both died pretty young and my mother took an interest in him as he was my younger brothers friend and has helped to raise him and teach him about managing/acquiring rental properties. He has been very successful over the years and has accumulated a large estate of his own. He has remained close to my mother, has partnered some properties with her over the years, and has helped mother with scheduling maintenance repairs for her properties just as she has for him if he was away on vacations or otherwise not available. So this is not a case where the guy is desperate for money. He has his own view of the way the world should be and tries to make everything and everyone conform to his view. For instance, he has an opinion that my son is not responsible enough to receive a third of mother estate so he had been actively pressuring mother to set up a trust to dole the money out to him. When she didn't go along he changed his position and tried to influence mother to limit my sons inheritance to 50k, saying that after all my son would likely receive an inheritance from me and my older brother. He didn't want my wife to inherit the jewelry because he didn't think my wife was deserving as she is my second wife (married for over 20 years now). He was actively campaigning to have the jewelry distributed among his old girlfriends and my ex wife instead. Months ago mother asked her attorney to draft a new will that included a bunch of this guys thoughts. After 3 drafts mother rejected the new will and did not sign it, telling her attorney that she did not want to make any changes after all. It seems that this list of changes is his basis for giving away the jewelry and cash but even so he has cherry picked this list apparently as he sees fit. He is an alcoholic, drinks everyday starting at 9am and continuing until he passes out in a stupor every night. Mother was very aware of this and was very concerned for his health and well being. But mother really cared deeply for this guy and couldn't bring herself to cut ties with him or take away is signatory privileges to her accounts. He had a key to her safety deposit box and knew the code to her home safe. He cleaned out both and told me that he did so. A week after mother passed away (9 days ago) he invited me to lunch where he rattled off a list of what he had done with mothers assets. I don't know when he did it all. I know he gave my ex wife jewelry the day of my mothers memorial service. He gave away 14k in a cashiers check to a former tenant of mother's property and who was also a handy man that worked for the co-executor and my mother on their property from time to time. The co-executor told me he gave that guy 18k but the guy told me received 14K. He gave his laborer 50k of mothers money, I don't know when. Mother liked the laborer and talked about wanting to help him too, had his name on the listed changes to mother's will that she ultimately rejected. The list said mother was considering giving him 10k.

I hope this narrative sort of answers some of the question that have been raised. My mother was not mentally well. Her doctor saw evidence that she had had as many as 16 mini-strokes. Her memory was slipping badly. She would tell the same story over and over again, 15 minutes after she had already told it. The co-executor and I talked about her state of mind many times. Other than the 30k that he paid himself for taking mother to the doctors and helping in other small ways, I don't think his actions have been selfish or malicious. He was just trying to make the world align with the way he thought it should be. I do think he has violated his fiduciary responsibilities and certainly betrayed me, my son, my wife, and my older brother.
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Is it possible that this guy was scamming your mom from the start? A male "gold digger"? If he had POA authority I wonder if he was taking advantage of your mother while she was alive. Like I've said - something just feels off about him/the situation from what you've told us. I'm still wondering if he can be held accountable criminally. I mean, if he's not a beneficiary and there's nothing in writing that he's following your mothers wishes, you'd think that this could be considered theft. If that could be charged then the lady friends would have been "receiving stolen merchandise" which is a crime - surely that would motivate the ladies to return the jewelry- the cash would be harder to prove. Makes me wonder about these "ladies" - sounds like a cheap herd to be accepting and now keeping the jewelry - knowing you want it back, that it was unethically given to them and that the jewelry are family heirlooms. At the very minimum dispersing items of value prior to probate must be illegal in some way. What a crappy situation. Has your attorney said if it's possible to at least take civil action against this guy? I know that doesn't get the actual items of jewelry back but could provide some monetary compensation. Sorry for so many replies from me - your situation is just so unusual - it's got me thinking about it and the possible motives and recourse. - Not your typical "fighting over the stuff" situation at all. Please keep posting to let us know how it's going - lots of valuable information and lessons for us to learn from. And BTW - I should have said this earlier - I'm sorry for your loss of your mother. This must be so hard for you - lossing you mom and then being betrayed by someone she thought she could trust. Sorry!
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A successful businessman who drinks and passes out in a stupor daily?

Hmmmm.....I smell rolls baking in the oven.
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You should have your own lawyer, (I might also clarify your own HONEST lawyer) and that may be hard to find. Out of 6 lawyers when there should not be need for any, only one that later became a district judge, was honest. There is also some sneaky things going on with Hospice but I have never figured out what my brothers did. Hospice was brought in to help my brother kill my precious Mother who was not allsheimer or anything else. She was as sweet as she always was.
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Try hard to find a honest lawyer to get your share. Getting copies of all paperwork for your own files is a challenge. They opposing side will refuse or never answer in giving you copies of everything. (one of their tricks) Go to courthouse to get what you can first.
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GA, with co-executors would that not mean both would have to sign off to access accounts and the safe deposit box? I'm wondering how he managed to move all these assets?
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GA - rolls baking in the oven? I'm not familiar with that one..?
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CWillie, if the appointment portion of the Will reads that the co-executors can act independently, then one or the other can in fact act on his/her own, without approval or consent from the other co-executor.

If the appointment language names them and indicates that they act jointly, then they must concur on actions.
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And BTW, I'm still wondering about a lot of issues raised in this post.
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