Christmas gifts? Mom is in memory care, dad in AL.

A low maintenance plant for their apartment, new towels for the bathroom, a new photo for a frame they may already have. A festive tin of homemade fudge if they are able to eat sweets. They want our time, not things, so it does not have to be elaborate....

I know what you mean about the limited space...I finally had to tell my brother if he buys mom one more thick burly blanket for mom, he will be taking it home with him when he leaves. We live in a 4 season state and it was really hard to keep her clothing housed, let alone multiple blankets. There is no linen closet in assisted living! LOL

Hallmark Christmas movies.

When my grandma-in-law’s dementia got worse, people would wrap up something she already had and give it to her! Sounds insensitive but she loved unwrapping and was always delightfully surprised.

Mrslala541: Give a gift of food.

I got my Mom orchids from Trader joes .

Hello. Did you have a special yearly gift that you got or gave your parents or each other?

my son was dying many years ago and since there really nothing lasting we could give him we put an orange and a candy cane in his christmas stocking. We had done this every year when he was a kid.

(he died three weeks later but we could tell he appreciated that he still got a gift.)

I’m afraid I’ve gotten into a rut. I do my DH aunts laundry so I buy her pretty sheets, blankets, pjs for almost every occasion. Whatever needs freshening or is seasonal. Also socks and perfume. She is bed bound and doesn’t communicate much but she likes pretty things and it gives her caregivers something to compliment her on.
She really likes sweets, chocolate covered cherries are a big fave each Christmas. DH makes her fudge. Sometimes for a treat he takes her tamales.
I’ve gotten some good ideas from everyone. I’m going to try to sharpen my game for 2024.
I remember buying my grannie little windup mechanical dogs that would bark and turn flips.
My dad enjoyed playing dominoes or cards. if we were lucky we got a story or two from him in return.

I read the most popular gift this year in general is socks. My mom was a big socks and underwear giver. One year she made all her grands western shirts. What a shocker.

One of my nieces goes once a week to visit two women in their 90s in a ALF. She meets one of their daughters there and they play the domino game “Train”. They have a great time.

I hope everyone has a nice holiday with their elders.

I made a mother wall photo collage of family photos from early girlhood to the present...She loved it....Cost is minimal and memories are wonderful...

All of these suggestions are great! We always get my mama a couple new pairs of warm and fuzzy fleece pajamas (pants and shirt) they help keep her warm since she’s always cold. This year I got her a warm and furry blanket to keep on her bed. And she loves candy treats around Christmas so I buy a bunch of different ones for her. She’s currently semi-bedridden in a rehab/nursing home and doesn’t have room for many items.

A shelf for the wall - facing their bed or chair (as is possible) FOR:
- flowers
- photos
- something from their home that was special to them and/or something that connect them with the family.
- I left a wreath up all year at my client's room - it was so beautiful.
- Item to keep them warm and cozy. . . in general:
* Appeal to the senses (physical and visual: as above; perhaps music.
- Investigate. arranging for volunteers (students in school?) to come over and play an / their instrument and/or sing ... not only for your parents but see if you can set up an event for them to perform for the different units / divisions at the facility.

* a massage (from a professional and / or)
- you learn how to give a good foot or hand massage (I am a massage practitioner although to give a gentle 'touch' massage, a person doesn't need to be certified. Do be aware of counter-indicators (ways / areas not to massage). Easy to learn by asking their healthcare professional.

- As they enjoy, show / share with them You Tube moments - could be nature, flowers blooming, music, or a tv show that they watched when they were younger ... Ed Sullivan ? Twilight Zone ? Whatever they might enjoy.

- Time with them is the best gift.

* Research / coordinate volunteers to visit regularly. Setting this up will take some time - calling, posting ads, interviewing potential visitors/volunteers. See if there is a LITA in your area.

* This is one of the best gifts you could give your parents - or any older person in a facility. They are often alone, lonely, confused, scared and need reassurance(s) that they are loved. This is one major way to do that.

Gena / Touch Matters

Twelve Days of Christmas book. The pictures are fun to see and the reading is easy.

We have a digital picture frame on a shelf at the end of my mom’s bed that rotates family pictures. We can add or delete pictures. My mother is bedridden and in memory care. The revolving pictures in the picture frame have been a topic of conversation for her and caregivers as well as visitors. She rarely looks at the TV when it’s on but looks at the pictures on the digital frame constantly. Also, we got her an Echo Show to put at the foot of the bed on the shelf. We have one in our home also and they’re connected so we can drop in on her and “FaceTime”. She is no longer able to use a phone. This has also been a lifesaver. This year, I’m giving her new fluffy socks and a pretty fleece blanket.

Your presence, love and time spent with them = best gift.
Share memories, perhaps photos of other years growing up etc.
All "tangible" gifts need of course to be safety compliant relevant based on their diagnosis. For ALF, perhaps something he would enjoy, clothing etc or something based on his current interests. For memory care perhaps a new soft blanket ...
Always confer with facility for gift guidelines.

When mom was in NH, the laundry was efficient but undeniably commercial and hard on clothing, so we used holidays to replace clothing. Aunt in memory care loved any kind of picture book, like the large coffee table kind with nature photos. She’d go through them over and over again. And snacks and baked goods to share with the staff is always appreciated

My MIL is in LTC and not very able to move around or reach for things in bed so we call her to plan an eat-in meal together with her. She gets to decide what we bring, no matter what she asks for. Even leaving treats in a tin on her rolling lap table - she doesn't see it or remember that it's there for her.

I didn't think of it in time this year, but thinking next year I'll do a mini Advent thing where I put little treats (or something) in 10 or 14 wrapped boxes and have the staff help her open one a day up until we come see her at Christmas.

Alzheimer's Store. I noticed my mom was responding to dolls and stuffed animals. I got her a battery operated dog that barked, wagged its tail, and whined. She absolutely loved it. One day she said there was something wrong with her dog, that she was starting to think it wasn't real. That was after 6 months of treating it as real and even trying to feed it.

I agree with Olddude. Bring them something yummy to eat!

The only other thing that I can think of is photos of your family, either in an album or framed to place on their wall or nightstand.

Don't bother with stuff. They have limited space and they don't need more clutter. I would go with food, either taking them out to eat, or better yet, bringing some food into the facility If you bring food in, you may have to bring enough for everybody, but it's Christmas so what the hey.