My 91-year-old Mom wants me to get out all her Christmas decorations this year. She thinks she can decorate but I know better as I can't even get her to pay her bills and she won't give them to me. I know if I do this we will still have decorations strewn around the living room, and not put up, all the way to Christmas Day. She wants to have my brother's family over this year for Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas Day. I know all the cleaning, decorating, cooking and clean-up is going to fall on me and I am really stressed.
She knows how I feel but still wants to go through with it. Do I put my foot down and tell her I will do some decorating but I will not get all her stuff out. I live with her and have many of my own decorations and would be happy to put a lot of them up. Or, do I do as she says and feel the stress of looking at a mess that she is unable to handle? I know this could be her last Christmas but I want it to be an enjoyable time for me too and I am so anxious about this. My brother will be doing Thanksgiving so I am grateful for that. His family is a help with cooking but not Christmas decorations and cleaning at my house.
I am sorry that your stepfamily was not there for you in your time of need.
The most sick person here is your step DIL. She made excuses for her husband's very bad behavior. I'll bet she makes excuses for a lot of things about him. I do realize that many people's lives were/are made extremely difficult by Covid and maybe they couldn't afford gifts that year but this is abuse. Wishing you comfort and joy at this time of year.
1) Enjoy the time you have with your Mom.
2) Don't stress over this, it may be her last but you will have more.
3) You will regret not having spent more time with her.
4) Don't sweat the small stuff .... it's all small stuff.
5) Who cares if there are decorations still strewn about - is your Mom happy? If yes, then it's all good. Life is not perfect - don't try and make it perfect.
6) I hear on the radio this phrase and it has stuck with me since; "don't say "I have to do this", "say "I get to do this."
You "get" to be honored in having one more Christmas with your Mom and you "get" to make it a happy time.