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I am 64 (soon to be 65) and i have severe osteoarthritis all over my body. I have a cane that i use at times and also a rollator walker i had to use for a while because of knee and hip problems. My daughter was glad i had them and used them if i needed to. I would much rather do that than fall. Ive had no insurance since 2010 so its been a real struggle at times. But come 1 Dec i will have medicare so i will finally see a dr to get some answers. I have had a couple of falls the last couple years, the last one being 2 wks ago. Thank goodness i was ok just very sore and trouble moving for a few days.
please use your cane if it helps you!! Better to do that than fall....
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NeedHelpWithMom Nov 2019
Cherokee,

I hope you get the help that you need when you turn 65.
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If u feel more comfortable than do it. Ask ur Doctor for a therapy eval. They will come to your home and show you how to use it. Yes, there is a right and wrong way. You can get a paper for ur kids to show its needed. Canes are only good when one leg is the problem. If both legs are the problem then a walker will be needed. Please know when its time. If a walker is ever needed, again get an eval and have the walker adjusted for you. I see too many people all bent over because their walker is not adjusted correctly.
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What reason do your children say "do not use a cane" ? I'm really puzzled... My Mum just got one & I think it's great.

Are you using a cane so you can keep wearing high heels or something? (I'm picturing the Queen Mother years ago in heels with one or even two walking sticks!)
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My dear MIL was totally resistant to a walker. Then after an incident I hired one for three months, assuring her that it was temporary and would go back. At the end of the hire time, she wanted to keep it (absolutely it, not anything different), which worked out really well. She was only 4’10”, the hire place was delighted to get it out of stock and replace with an adjustable height option. MIL found that she could walk to her favourite shops, because she could sit down on the way whenever she felt like it. Perhaps you too could bring one in as a ‘temporary’ thing.
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There isn’t enough information in this posting. What exactly are your children telling you?

My mom started our fine with a cane. She has Parkinson’s disease and as it progressed, the cane was no longer stable enough for her.

She rejected my suggestion of using a walker. So I had the nurse tell her. I also had the doctor tell her. Then I went out and bought her a walker.

She was self conscious at first. She also thought it would be an inconvenience to me. I had to tell her that it was not an inconvenience The anxiety about being concerned about a fall with a cane was worse.

Once she saw I was not upset about having to place the walker in and out of the backseat or trunk she was comfortable with it and liked it a lot.

She was much more secure with a walker. Her physical therapist wanted her to use a walker, not a cane. Of course, falls can happen with either but that is where therapy really helps in teaching exercises for strength, balance and using the walker properly.
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USE THE CANE and tell your children to get a grip! 

Talk about GRIPS::: my friend's wife has a wheel chair that the grips slip off. We told him Good Off. Take acetone and wash off the handles where the Goop will go on. Slather it on really good ; put the grip on it, and let it dry for 24 hours.

My friend was't sure about that, so I suggest going to a tennis pro shop, and the the tennis wraps for the handles. He did, he thinks it helps...
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At least make sure your cane has the TRIPOD FOOT on the end... It really helps. Or, do they wish you used a walker instead?

If for some reason you feel safer with a cane, then use it.
Or you can say, I want you child. to hold my arm close to yours, and move your feet when I move mine, so I don't slip... Can you do that for me dear?

Or do you want me to get a set of the actors on Cleopatra movie who move on their shoulders her with her canopy so the sun doens't hit her directly? Don't forget the Fresh Grapes :)

Or, a motorized wheel chair?

I will choose the guys on the set of Cleopatra :)
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So ... wow. This forum is full of folks who *wish* their loved ones would use canes, walkers, whatever keeps 'em upright and active!

You know what you need. They don't (they can't, not really). Please use what works for you.

(CONFESSION: I shouldn't approve of the "use the cane on the kids" suggestion. But I do. Mea maxima culpa!)
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Well that's rich! After my father fell a few times, I had to literally drag him to the store to purchase a cane because he flat out refused to use a walker.
For the love of God, USE THE CANE and tell your children to get a grip! They need to keep your safety foremost in their minds and nothing else.

Good for YOU for doing the right thing!
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Tell your kids you know what is best for you. They should be grateful you are being proactive....don't let them bully you.
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If you need a cane use it.

You could always use it on your kids behinds to get their attention that you are a big girl and know how to keep your feet under you.

I have to say that it was a shock to see my dad using one. He to just uses it to feel more stable, that is what is important, it gives security.
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Riverdale Nov 2019
Too funny about using the cane on the kids. Oh boy the behaviors expressed here can blow the mind
Not that we know the whole story but why would anyone in their right mind tell someone not to use a cane if they need it. My mother will only use a walker after a fall with a walker. Prior to that she was using a cane which I was happy about but I would never tell her not to use what she feels is necessary.
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Of course you should use a cane if you feel the need. Your children are not walking for you. I don't know their reasoning but I would ignore it. The next step after a cane is a walker which could happen sooner if you fall which would be best to avoid. I actually find it fashionable to use a cane. Remaining ambulatory is of great importance as one ages. I hope you can do what you feel is best for you.
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Are your children physical therapists?

Please have your DOCTOR order a physical therapy evaluation and have one of your childre there so you both can hear what the recommendation is. Have the therapist write the recommendation down so that you can all review and refer to it.
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