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Listen I know this is a horrid thought and you have all probably agonised long and hard before putting your loved one into care but I just wanted you to know what I know from my many many visits to care homes (and phone calls I have made when not happy with what I have seen).

Even when your care home choice is seen to be one of the best it only takes one evil carer to make a person's life a misery. In one care home the children were totally unaware of the abuse until their mother screamed when one particular carer got near her. Eventually they checked their mum over for signs of abuse and nothing no marks, scratches or bruises until they looked under her arms which in people with severely restricted mobility is really hard to do. One carer while apparently 'helping' their mother to stand was in actual fact pinching the delicate underarm skin so hard she was bruised really badly from it. Of course their mother stood or tried to she was in agony from this evil witch who incidentally has been dealt with through the courts.
So please do conduct spot checks to make sure your Mum's care is everything you expect it to be.....and people wonder why a) I wont put my mum in care and b) I want to be able to choose when I die!

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Mom tripped and cousin Jimmy grabbed her arm to keep her from falling. You could clearly see his handprint-bruise! She had another nasty mark huge bruise another time where she pinched her arm in her recliner. It's not easy to differentiate abuse without a nanny cam with audio-video.
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You are right pam, and we shouldn't go off about every bruise or complaint, but it doesn't hurt to be vigilant. If there is a continuing pattern of bruises or other issues where things just don't seem right we need to take it seriously and start looking for the reasons. I had a home care worker that I just never felt right about. One day after I came home from my day away I was greeted with the news mom had fallen. I understand this happens, but this was the second time in a month and her explanation of the circumstances was puzzling. Of course mom didn't remember anything. I don't know if it was happenstance or incompetence, but I called her supervisor and arranged for a new aide.
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My Mom has fallen twice since being in the nursing home. Shes been there a year. Her version of how it happened changed every time I asked but both times I received a phone call from the home telling me about it. They even went so far as to measure her bruises and so on. I guess they need to cover their asses in case of lawsuits etc.

But my Mom still has some of her faculties and has periodically told me that they don't bring her meals when I know for a fact they do so I imagine she would tell me if they were harming her in any way.
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When you KNOW that abuse is happening you have a moral ethical and in some places a legal duty to report it to the relevant agency. legal because if you KNOW and do nothing then you are complicit in its continuance. Google reporting abuse of the elderly and add you location after that - you will get a tel number to ring and PLEASE ring it today
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These stories are horrible but I am still convinced that there are good nursing homes out there. My Mom is in a wonderful place where she is treated very well.

Anyone out there who is considering putting their loved one in a nursing home because they are just not able to care for them on their own should not be afraid to do it because of some isolated cases of abuse. There are good ones out there.
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I think that attitudes at a nursing home are influenced from the top down. If profit is the only consideration then care has to suffer. If the staff is treated poorly and their concerns are disregarded then they will take it out on the residents, even if only subconsciously. Staff with a good heart can become jaded when their extra efforts are not rewarded, in fact they are often taking up the slack for less caring and efficient employees. It's kinda like buying a house, don't be fooled by the granite counter tops and spa bathroom when there are termites in the basement!
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Contact the Office of Regulatory Services (ORS), Personal Care Home Section or your local Area Agency on Aging (Triple A) for lists of p. ersonal care homes. Your local community ombudsman can help you with this. If you want and I definitely would you can check audit histories of some nursing homes http://www.medicare.gov/nursinghomecompare/search.html?AspxAutoDetectCookieSupport=1 will give you audit reports for your location you can drill down there too to see what the audit report says it found - I do hope this helps. Do still be mindful that audit reports dont show everything
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A couple of friends of mine used to work in a home with seniors. They were married and worked at the same place.They used to tell me some of the horror stories that went on where they worked. Things like the aides stealing the patients medications and meals. Times when they were supposed to be handing out meds and they were taking a break instead.The way they mistreated the patients when they wanted to change the bedding.There were so many things that went wrong that they finally decided to retire. They had both reached the age of retirement and simply had had enough and quit. Some of their stories could make you sick to your stomach. They were relieved to get out of there.
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The home where my mom is is trying to kick her out because i complain about her being dirty and them not taking her to bathroom letting her sit in hall after giving her sleeping pill.They said if i complain she have to leave i dont know what to do im so upset.These are some cruel people.
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Not all homes for seniors are bad. I worked in a long term care facility for 10 years. The seniors were always treated with respect and not once had I ever heard a resident have any type of complaint about abuse. I'm sure there are homes for seniors that have a staff member that is like that, and that is when that staff person should be fired. No senior person deserves to be treated in that way. My mom is not in a home, but lives in her own home. Her abuse is from a son that had her change her will to leave him everything. He has been mean to mom for years. Almost physical abuse (did not punch her, but has threatened to do that to her.) Other sibling and his wife doing it also. He has done this for years but mom is to scared to do anything about him, other sibling or sister in law. POLICE ARE BELEIVING THEM. My mom is in a bad position with them around her. These people should be made to be put on a lie detector test. I don't understand why this isn't a head story in newspapers. This needs to be addressed more in the publics eye. More people need to know this is happening more and more every day to the elderly. It is happening all over the place.
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