Does anyone check relatives in care for signs of abuse?

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Listen I know this is a horrid thought and you have all probably agonised long and hard before putting your loved one into care but I just wanted you to know what I know from my many many visits to care homes (and phone calls I have made when not happy with what I have seen).

Even when your care home choice is seen to be one of the best it only takes one evil carer to make a person's life a misery. In one care home the children were totally unaware of the abuse until their mother screamed when one particular carer got near her. Eventually they checked their mum over for signs of abuse and nothing no marks, scratches or bruises until they looked under her arms which in people with severely restricted mobility is really hard to do. One carer while apparently 'helping' their mother to stand was in actual fact pinching the delicate underarm skin so hard she was bruised really badly from it. Of course their mother stood or tried to she was in agony from this evil witch who incidentally has been dealt with through the courts.
So please do conduct spot checks to make sure your Mum's care is everything you expect it to be.....and people wonder why a) I wont put my mum in care and b) I want to be able to choose when I die!

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Not all homes for seniors are bad. I worked in a long term care facility for 10 years. The seniors were always treated with respect and not once had I ever heard a resident have any type of complaint about abuse. I'm sure there are homes for seniors that have a staff member that is like that, and that is when that staff person should be fired. No senior person deserves to be treated in that way. My mom is not in a home, but lives in her own home. Her abuse is from a son that had her change her will to leave him everything. He has been mean to mom for years. Almost physical abuse (did not punch her, but has threatened to do that to her.) Other sibling and his wife doing it also. He has done this for years but mom is to scared to do anything about him, other sibling or sister in law. POLICE ARE BELEIVING THEM. My mom is in a bad position with them around her. These people should be made to be put on a lie detector test. I don't understand why this isn't a head story in newspapers. This needs to be addressed more in the publics eye. More people need to know this is happening more and more every day to the elderly. It is happening all over the place.
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Contact the Office of Regulatory Services (ORS), Personal Care Home Section or your local Area Agency on Aging (Triple A) for lists of p. ersonal care homes. Your local community ombudsman can help you with this. If you want and I definitely would you can check audit histories of some nursing homes http://www.medicare.gov/nursinghomecompare/search.html?AspxAutoDetectCookieSupport=1 will give you audit reports for your location you can drill down there too to see what the audit report says it found - I do hope this helps. Do still be mindful that audit reports dont show everything
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I think that attitudes at a nursing home are influenced from the top down. If profit is the only consideration then care has to suffer. If the staff is treated poorly and their concerns are disregarded then they will take it out on the residents, even if only subconsciously. Staff with a good heart can become jaded when their extra efforts are not rewarded, in fact they are often taking up the slack for less caring and efficient employees. It's kinda like buying a house, don't be fooled by the granite counter tops and spa bathroom when there are termites in the basement!
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The home where my mom is is trying to kick her out because i complain about her being dirty and them not taking her to bathroom letting her sit in hall after giving her sleeping pill.They said if i complain she have to leave i dont know what to do im so upset.These are some cruel people.
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These stories are horrible but I am still convinced that there are good nursing homes out there. My Mom is in a wonderful place where she is treated very well.

Anyone out there who is considering putting their loved one in a nursing home because they are just not able to care for them on their own should not be afraid to do it because of some isolated cases of abuse. There are good ones out there.
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A couple of friends of mine used to work in a home with seniors. They were married and worked at the same place.They used to tell me some of the horror stories that went on where they worked. Things like the aides stealing the patients medications and meals. Times when they were supposed to be handing out meds and they were taking a break instead.The way they mistreated the patients when they wanted to change the bedding.There were so many things that went wrong that they finally decided to retire. They had both reached the age of retirement and simply had had enough and quit. Some of their stories could make you sick to your stomach. They were relieved to get out of there.
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When you KNOW that abuse is happening you have a moral ethical and in some places a legal duty to report it to the relevant agency. legal because if you KNOW and do nothing then you are complicit in its continuance. Google reporting abuse of the elderly and add you location after that - you will get a tel number to ring and PLEASE ring it today
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We live in virginia and my moms in a nursing home she has dementiashe has fallen 3 times they are not taking her to the bathroom they gave her an overdose of medication I can't find another nursing home in the area she only has medcaid i stay with her as much i can im afraid to leave her with them
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The one in charge of my mom now IS the one that is the abuser. Influenced her to change her will to get me out of the way. He puts fear into mom and she won't tell anyone, not even the police. This sibling, the other sibling and his wife are all acting like loving caring children, but when the police have left that is when they go at mom yelling and screaming at her. I have told police, mental health people and her doctor. They all believe these criminals, and that is what they are. Mom calls me crying saying they get right into her face. The sibling in charge of my mom has new girlfriend of 6 months. Mom has told me this girl, as mom calls her, sits there with her arms crossed and smiles while the siblings and sister in law yell at her. This girlfriend and sister in law should not be allowed in my mom's house. They are not blood related or marked in as a caregiver to mom. Girlfriend only around mom for 6 months of knowing her and sister in law has never had anything to do with mom all these years, only until my big brother died. Why the police are not checking these things out. The siblings are trying to get mom to not give us back our things that are in mom's house. I hope to god that some day soon I can get them recorded on the phone doing this to mom. If I were you I would record any conversations that can prove they are doing that to the parent. Make sure to put down date and time for everything. I'm in Canada and it seems like this is happening all over the place. This very serious issue needs to be brought out in the publics eyes. I'm sure a lot more people would come forward about abuse towards an elderly parent from siblings or anyone else doing this to them.
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I agree. It never hurts to check for bruising, skin tears or other marks including reddened skin. You can always say you are checking for dry skin or how well the lotion is working. You can tell them why you are checking, but this may make them fearful because they may be afraid of retaliation. It is correct that one bad caregiver is all it takes and people get really creative with abuse. I would hate to think that she was in pain and the staff didn't realize it or didn't care.
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