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I just got a copy of the letter the dr. sent to DMV asking that her license be suspended. The case worker told me to get the keys. I know I will be met with resistance and a big scene will ensue. The dr. then suggested removing the battery. I can go early in the morning and do this without them knowing but they may just think someone stole it. I am thinking of calling the police and asking for advice or help. Has anyone ever had experience with this type of situation?

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I don't think you need to start removing batteries and messing with the mechanics of the car. What if you need it for an emergency. Just take her keys. My Mom has dementia and still thinks she drives after 7 years. Her car is just outside (she thinks). We simply had to take her keys and make sure that someone else drove her to appointments and such. You are not going to be able to convince her that she is unable to drive anymore if she has dementia. Sounds like it is time for you to take charge. Believe me, there are going to be many more choices you are going to have to make for her.
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Who is "they"? Does she live with someone?
I heard a guy say once that he removed his mother's battery and she called Triple A when her car wouldn't start. They told her the car had no battery. She said well put one in it.
So taking the battery might not work if mom has snap and resources. If you don't think she would do that, you could give her a copy of the letter from the doctor after you remove the battery.
I like the idea of calling the police. I'd like to know what they tell you.
Different people do different things. Some people say that you would be stealing by taking the car or the battery. Do you have POA for your mom?
There are many posts on this site on this subject. You can search elders driving or something similar and get many ideas.
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Case worker: you need to get the keys.
You: YOU get the dam' keys!

What sort of case worker, by the way? Because actually, depending on why she's been assigned to this case, she may be able to do that. Then you can assume an innocent expression and say "oh poor mother - but, tsk, sigh, it's the law, what can you do?"
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This is some tough stuff. This is your mom? Are you familiar with her driving? Is she unsafe, getting lost?

If so, the driving has to end. If you're not up to mechanical stuff, try and find someone who can help you. There are easier ways to disable a car than removing the battery. Just pull the starter relay. Small fuse /like thing under the hood.

Then make plans to get rid of the car. Mom may get confused with the car still there. And, make the doc the bad guy. Good luck.
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bambi813 - yes I have gone through this! It was last year and it wasn't all that difficult after the first initial shock. My mom had dementia and she kept getting lost when she drove (I did not live near her at the time). When I moved to be near her, I got the letter from DMV and had to have the doctor sign off on it. When I told my mom that she wouldn't be able drive anymore, she got mad, but when I told her that she kept getting lost and getting the police to bring her home, she started to realize what was going on, but she wanted to "know who was responsible for this". Initially I told her that it was the state and I'd have to take her to DMV and get her an i.d. she got mad again & said she'd give them a piece of her mind. So I also had to tell her that the doctor signed off on it. After a couple of weeks she forgot about it, and was only partially perturbed when we had to go to DMV to surrender the license. I think if you tell her that the battery has been stolen she'll insist that you replace it and then you'll never get anywhere. I don't believe that calling the police will do any good.
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I realize the DMV will do that. in the meantime, since DMV is not an expedient institution, the dr. told me to get keys or take battery out or starter fuse or now I have even heard remove plates. it could take a couple of months and there is a great liability to mom driving.
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Bambi, if your dad is in support of a person driving him around, who has dementia and a doctor has requested her to stop.....I'd wonder about his judgment too. Does he have cognitive decline? Because, reasonable people, who have good judgment would not be in support of that. Is he just scared that the two of them with have no transportation?

If dad is mentally okay, I might try to explain the liability that his wife and him have if she drives and kills someone. Consult with an attorney, but, in most jurisdictions, even if their insurance pays a claim, a victim's estate may go after the personal assets of the driver and her spouse. Check the laws in your state, but, it would be a big concern for me. If your siblings are concerned about inheritance, this might get their attention.

Regardless, the driving will have to stop if the doctor, Social Worker and DMV say so. It may be hard for them to deal with, but, they'll have to accept it. I'd work on getting them alternate transportation.
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Make an appointment with your mother's doctor and be in the room with her. Pull the doctor aside and tell he or she what is going on. It should be non confrontational and just come up in conversation whether she should drive or not. The doctor needs to then step in and say "NO" and explain why or even provide her a prescription not to drive. Most older people respect what a doctor says and will follow doctor's orders.

I went through this with my father. I took him to his doctor and sat there in the room with him. The doctor asked if there were any questions and I told her that he still wants to drive. The doctor responded directly to him and said "No" and then explained why. It has to be done in person and it has to be the doctor telling her she can no longer drive. After this meeting I got rid of his car and there was no further discussion about it.
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Take. The. Keys!! There will be a fight. Take. The. Keys!! We did it two years ago. (FIL is in late-middle stages of Alzheimer's. MIL physically cannot drive.) The fighting lasted about a year. It wasn't easy. And it's completely understandable!! Keys = independence. I'm sure I'll fight, too, when my day comes!

Have a plan in place to address their transportation needs. You can't just leave them stranded at home. One of our teenagers drives MIL to and from dialysis 3x a week. On the other weekdays, we hired a helper to take them to run errands, out to eat, etc. Husband and I do dr appointments. This seems to be working well.
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ALZH101 - Thank you, thank you. My youngest sister was killed by a driver who should not have been on the road. I believe your courage is saving lives. Thanks again and God bless you.
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