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Hello all. My 93 year old mother's hip replacement recently failed due to her worsening osteoarthritis, Dr. said her bone mass is so weak another surgery is out of the question. So she is now wheelchair bound due to extreme pain in her hip when she puts any weight on it. She lives with me and I am lucky that I work out of my house and am able to care for her. My fear is that this may be the beginning of a downhill slide in her overall health. She still has a sharp mind and other than extreme arthritis is in generally good health for someone her age. I know I have been lucky thus far, but I am afraid that this might be "the beginning of the end" as the doctor told me.


Thanks for letting me vent, :)

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Sorry - the doctor told you that your mother's becoming wheelchair-bound is the "beginning of the end"?

Well, it might be; but not for that reason alone. People live long lives in wheelchairs. I'm very sorry that her hip replacement failed; that must have been a blow to her; but that doesn't mean that *nothing* can be done to maintain her quality of life if her overall health is fair.

How would you describe your mother's level of motivation, say on a scale of 1- 10 where 1 is "just leave me alone" and 10 is "nothing will ever defeat me"?
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SonofMom55 Aug 2019
Right now it fluctuates between 5 and 8. I think it is beginning to dawn on her at times that she can no longer do the things she used to do which gets her (and me) down. I feel in a way like the old version of her has died and I now must cope with this new version and it is going to take some getting used to,
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So sorry. I have heard that often after surgery at that age, they do begin to decline. Especially in a case like this where your LO is much less mobile. 93 is pretty old and she has had a long life so....at some point, things start to give out, sad as it may be in the moment, for you.

How are you going to be able to care for her in your home, with her in a wheelchair? I'm imagining she can do very little for herself? Are you getting home health services for her? Take every minute of assistance you can get, to try to hold on to your sanity.

Good luck.
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I’m sorry that your mom’s HR was unsuccessful and that this has resulted in such pain for her. No one can predict when a person will pass. I’m surprised that the doctor would say this to you and for the stress and sadness this has caused you. Does she have other medical issues as well?

Has anyone recommended some gentle physical therapy for her? Even water therapy for her pain might help. I would speak with her doctor and ask if there’s anything that can be done to improve her quality of life.
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SonofMom55 Aug 2019
To be fair, I asked the Dr. that question and he answered in the affirmative. He said her loss of mobility is going to eventually lead to other health issues.
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5 to 8?! Wow!

I'm pretty sure I'd be in the minus sevens somewhere if I were in her shoes, so I'm incredibly impressed.

Seize the moment, and get hold of a physical therapist and/or occupational therapist to help her adapt to life in the wheelchair. There are seated exercises, there are techniques for continuing all KINDS of activities from a wheelchair, and there will also be daily care routines that will help maintain her muscle tone and skin integrity. If your mother is even at five, then don't give up on her!
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SonofMom55 Aug 2019
Actually that is where I am on the scale (minus sevens). Because I realize that taking care of her has grown a whole lot more complicated.
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Facing a prognosis like this is depressing no matter how old we are, I think that you should focus on enhancing her quality of life as much as possible and that means investing in the best durable medical equipment she can afford in order to make her days and nights comfortable as well as seriously considering all the options available to help her stay mentally involved and socially active. IMO transfer lifts, a customized wheelchair, the opportunity for real baths or showers and a good adjustable bed are a must. Although my mom only got a couple of years out of her wheelchair I believe it was money well spent - I can't imagine how she would have coped without it.
And ask if an antidepressant may be helpful to get her over the hump.
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Sonof5, loss of mobility WILL lead to other health issues - which is why it's so important to substitute other forms of exercise and physical and mental stimulation that don't stress her hip joint but will keep her active. Singing, seated exercise, hydrotherapy - these are just ideas off the top of my head, so imagine what the professionals' list is like :)
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