My mother is dependent on me for everything from bathing her to changing her diapers. She left us (her 5 kids) and moved out of state when we were young and just becoming parents ourselves. She has no relationship with her many grandchildren because they just never knew her. When her health started to fail, she tried to commit suicide and that's when I was contacted to come get her because her boyfriend of 20 yrs would not look after her. I always loved my mother, but now after waiting on her hand and foot for the past 3 yrs, I remember now why I didn't like her much. She is a very self centered person, and very demanding. She refuses to get out of bed so I had to find a home service doctor to come to the house each month to treat her diabetes, heart disease etc. I am never able to leave my home anymore except quick trips to the store. She yells at me if her diaper isn't changed right away and complains about the food I cook for her. I just became a grandmother 4 years ago, and I can never go see my grandkids because it disrupts mom's daily routine. It is all just too much to take, I can't seem to find a place for her that Medicaid will pay for, because they are all full. This is all causing me so much resentment towards mom, and I don't want to be that kind of person. I'm scared our relationship will be completely gone if I don't get some help soon with finding a nursing home. I am getting so depressed, I cry all the time at the silliest things.